Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Confession #5

Confession #5:
I am an ooey gooey, embarrassingly hopeless, romantic... but in less than conventional ways. I don't read romance novels, I don't love all things "victorian", I don't appreciate pinks and florals, I don't like the movie "Gone With the Wind" (although the book is to die for),etc. However, most chick flicks will strike my fancy... as long as the man is a man's man and not too sugar coated. Also, I believe in love at first sight and soul mates--- no matter what my cynical husband might say about that. ;)
More than that, I am a champion of the irresistible "only in the movies" kind of love. I get absolutely sick to my stomach when I know someone is about to "settle" for something comfortable or familiar. I think we sell ourselves short because we're afraid of being alone. I know, I almost went there. I am so thankful the hopeless romantic in me couldn't be silenced and never lost hope that there could be something... well... more. Someday Cody should probably thank me for that... ha ha ha!
On a spiritual level, I wonder if God ever thinks I'm settling? He wants to have this completely intense, totally passionate relationship with me, and I sit here thinking, "yeah, I'm finally comfortable right where I am. This is nice. Not fantastic, but dependable and safe." He must hate that more than I do.
On a completely non-spiritual level, (and maybe this is an even bigger confession) when I'm watching Days of Our Lives (yup, I said it!) I never know whether I want Sammy and EJ to be together; because I like her with the new guy (Rafe) but I just can't shake the feeling that what she and EJ have is that undeniable kind of love. And I want that for him...and for her. Sick, I know. And just in case you're wondering how I find time for a soap, I DVR it. And I justify my behavior by watching it on nights when kids are in bed and Cody's at a meeting. And I fold laundry while I watch, somehow making it less of a waste of my time... ha ha ha!

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