Saturday, January 08, 2011

Please Risk More

"The needs of the world demand that you challenge everything you believe about your personal limitations. Please risk more." --Mike Foster

I read this quote this week and I think I've found my new phrase, "Please risk more." (If you don't know what I mean by "my new phrase", click HERE)

One year ago today I was busy making a lady bug birthday cake for a little girl I was praying would eventually be my daughter. Over and over people would say to me, "I could never be a foster parent. I just know I wouldn't be able to give them away when the time came." In my heart I wasn't convinced I would be able to either, but I was certain this was the path God was choosing for building our family. I knew that in order to have a shot at adopting a young child out of the system, I would have to be a foster parent. I remember baking and frosting her cake (the first pink ANYTHING I had ever had reason to make) begging God to work in whatever way necessary to make her my child. A few months later her crib was empty and I was left with an ache like none I had ever experienced.

A year later here's what I know to be true. "The needs of the world demand that you challenge everything you believe about your personal limitations. PLEASE RISK MORE."

Honestly, the thought of her makes me simultaneously filled with joy and completely miserable. I couldn't miss her more if I tried. If there were any way to get her back, I'd have done it by now, and if I could see her again I would. Here's the thing... I believe there was a purpose in it. I believe God works all things together for good. I don't understand it, and I don't like it, but I know there is a reason for it. I think it completely sucks and I've told God that a million times in the last 9 months. He's big enough and loving enough to take whatever I dish out in anger. He's also safe enough for me to curl up in His arms and weep when I've needed to. I know that I can't afford to shrink up and avoid risk in order to avoid pain. I know that those around me need me to NOT risk less, but in fact, risk MORE. We need you to as well. Whatever you may be avoiding out of fear- risk more. Whatever step God's asking you to take that you're hesitant about- risk more. That relationship that you're unsure of- risk more. Whatever limitation you are absolutely sure of- risk more.

It is absolutely imperative that we do.