#24

Confession #24- I am a neat freak. Not a clean freak, a neat freak. I believe there is a distinction.

I like my house to be clean, but it doesn't consume me. However, what does consume me, what I think about all day long, and sometimes stay up at night pondering is the idea of everything having a place, and being in it's place when it needs to be. My mother-in-law and I often joke about starting a professional organization business when she retires. I would LOVE that, but I wonder if I'd be patient enough with other people while I try to help them organize their lives. I LOVE Peter Walsh, and will watch any show he is on. If you don't know who that is, nevermind. :)
In a more practical way, that means that every closet, in every bedroom of our house, has a closet organizer (that is more than a bar and a shelf) in it. Within said closet, everything is folded in a way in which to make the viewing of clothing pleasant, and the storage of said clothing a more efficient use of space. Hanging items are color coordinated and hung accordingly. When we moved into this house, I wouldn't let anyone put anything in our "storage" room until I had first purchased and installed the approriate shelving, and then items were brought in in a specific manner and labeled well.

I make lists like they are my job, and my calendar is both functional and beautiful as I often draw pictures along with the words to signify exciting events. :) I like order, simplicity, and beauty, even in the mundane. I'm not a decorator, but I like life to be as "uncluttered" as possible.

Right now life is chaos at our home, or at least it feels like it to me. The basement is torn apart and is in various stages of rebuilding. Everything that once was in the playroom, is now in my completely non-functional storage room or upstairs. Ezra and Ki have a kids table and matching chairs in the their already cramped bedroom, there are baby clothes Brooklynn has outgrown in the living room, and there is a chop saw and piles of sawdust in the center of my laundry room. Nevermind the dilemna of having 7 people in your house and a less than well functioning laundry room, I feel overwhelmed. I know that is my little ADD brain trying to process all the added stimuli, but nevertheless, I am overwhelmed.

So tonight, I ordered pizza. It's not "pizza night" (that's Friday's here) and it probably wasn't in the budget, but I ordered pizza. When we were done clearing the table and running the dishwasher I suddenly felt like it was all managable again. I cleaned where I could, put things away that still had places to go, and rearranged the rest to make it feel a little less insane around here. I guess I'm not sure what my confession is... either that I am completely nuerotic, or that pizza fixes everything... :) I'm hoping to have it all put back together in a few weeks, and I know I can handle just about anything for a few weeks. ha ha ha!

#23

Today's confession? I'm struggling. We found out yesterday that the judge has decided the kids will stay with us for 45 more days, and then will return to their mom and have a Families First worker assigned to them. It's all really bittersweet. Since Cody quit his job with COOR ISD, and the church will not be able to pay us enough to pay our bills, it is a relief to know there will be 3 fewer people to care for. As far as time management, laundry, cleaning, disciplining, ease of travel, etc. everything becomes exponentially easier. I am thankful, although skeptical, that the judge thinks their mom is making progress. I worry about whether or not they will be cared for, but I also know how happy the boys will be to be back with their mom. I have no idea how Brooklynn will adjust. The struggle is in the conflict of all those emotions... fear, relief, worry, anticipation, etc. but also...
Ya know when you give 2 weeks notice on a job? It doesn't matter how much you loved or hated that job, the last two weeks are miserable. Why? Because it's hard to walk back into something you know is ending and give it your best. You know someone else is about to come in and do your job in their way, and suddenly you think, "why bother?" So, this morning I woke up to a screaming baby who was woken up by brothers jumping off their bunk beds squealing at 6:30am and who had smeared poop into the carpet in their bedroom and all over the bedding. And I thought... "remind me why again Lord?" It doesn't help that Ki has strep and I've been sick for the last 5 days. I just want to lay on the couch snuggling him all day. Add in a basement under construction (thereby doing away with our playroom and forcing children to be on top of me all day long) and I'm already a grouch. So... if you are one of the 2 people who read this, please pray for us as we navigate this next month and a half. I desire to be the best I can be for these little ones, and I want to leave them with a strong sense of who God is and how much He loves them... and my current attitude is probably not going to lead to those outcomes. Thanks. :)

#22

I did NOT watch the Grammy's last night. Haven't watched them in years... because even though I'd like to, my husband thinks they're lame, and SOMEHOW he ALWAYS wins that battle. I must not care about watching them as much as I think I do. ;)

#21

I am having a ridiculously non-productive week. Although I wake up each morning with fabulously large intentions, I am fizzle-ing out quite early in the day. I don't know what my deal is except that I feel... "off." It doesn't help that Brooklynn has decided to wake up at 6:30am the past 3 days instead of 9:30 or 10am. I am MUCH more productive when she's asleep. I would blame it all on her, but yesterday afternoon when she and Jayden took their naps and Ki, Jordan and Ezra were at school, I decided to nap too. And last night when they were all in bed and Cody and I were watching TV, I decided to just sit instead of fold the 3 loads of laundry sitting in the room. If you know how to break this funk, enlighten me please!!!

#20

This weekend my mom and dad, aunts and uncles, and one cousin, are coming "up north" to help renovate my basement. I have a nice basement, don't get me wrong, but we are doing a MAJOR overhaul. We had some money that we HAD to use on home improvements (it's a tax thing) so we've decided to build Cody a home office... and since we're framing up new walls anyway, we're going to also add a 4th bedroom. The new office means Cody will finally have a dedicated space for working on stuff for Praxis Church, instead of having only his lap and a seat in our family room. Hopefully this will prove to be very beneficial and increase productivity and creativity for him. The 4th room will mean that we can finally give Brooklynn a bedroom of her own and reclaim our room as ours. If the foster situation proves to be less long term than we anticipate, we figure it'll make a nice guest room (since my parents currently end up on an air mattress in the family room when they visit). In addition to all the wall building, they will be installing a bunch of recessed lighting, running duct work for heat in the new rooms, and drywalling the new walls as well as the ceiling!!! The lights and ceiling mean that here where we spend 75% of our year indoors thanks to winter, we'll have a light bright airy space for the kids to play! YAY! In addition, all this free "labor" means it's actually crazy cheap to do! Who knew building walls could cost so little?

So my confession??? I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED!!! and SO SO GRATEFUL!

#19

It's been a while, and- it turns out- thinking of 30 random confessions is fairly difficult. I'm thinking my life is a lot less interesting than I thought... and I thought it was fairly boring. Still no news on Keagan, we're all still praying.

So today's confession? In all my years of teaching, one thing I know for certain is that 7 year old boys are EXTREMELY annoying to me. It's a phenomena that has always held my curiosity, and I am sad to report that my otherwise hilariously endearing and adorable 6 1/2 year old will be 7 at the end of February and is already showing signs of "the change." This might be a LONG year. ;)

#18

There are days when I desire to encourage my husband with a "go get 'em", "you can do it", "be uber productive", "stay focused" type speech. I refrain because somewhere deep inside I fear that by the end of the day I will have revealed myself as a hypocrite. ;)