Wow... it's been months since I last posted. I've been struggling with how to write and what to write, and in the end decided it was best not to write. If you remember what we were talking about last, then you will probably notice that those posts are gone. There are new guidelines in place in the foster care system that prohibit me from sharing our journey in a public forum like this. While I technically never shared any identifying information regarding our current placement, it was in the best interest of all involved to remove all posts related to this process.
So... what to write when life's current journey is off limits? I have no idea. Its difficult for me to feel as though anything in my life is blog worthy knowing I cannot incorporate that piece of the puzzle into it. I guess I'm a little too holistic that way.
Here's what I am learning (and I apologize for the vagueness):
Everyone walks a difficult path. Everyone.
SO many of our friends and family members have made the comment recently, "I just can't imagine being a foster parent. There would be nothing harder than saying goodbye to a child you love." I don't really know how to respond to that, except to acknowledge that this is the path God has asked us to be on for this time in our life. The reality is, I can't imagine having a spouse who goes off to war for months/years at a time. I don't ever want to know the pain of a marriage that is disintegrating despite my best efforts to save it. I can't imagine raising my children alone. I can't fathom watching a loved one die of cancer, or losing a child, or suffering a life altering injury. Yet... I have watched friends and loved ones walk all of these paths with dignity and strength and faith in a God who sustains.
We don't always choose our paths...sometimes they choose us... and when they do, we have a choice: we can run away, or we can face our fears as best we know how, and hope and pray we come out more like God on the other side.