Not Enough Time

wow, it has been too long... (and this post probably will be too) and in the interest of authenticity, I don't really even want to write right now. The crazy thing is that I've been "intending" to write for some time and I keep putting it off. Today, out of the blue, I've had 2 comments on old posts. Strange. I'm taking it as a sign that I just need to do it.

I'm not sure if anyone else is in this position (although I'm willing to bet more than a few are) but I just don't have enough time. I feel like life has been in hyper-mode for a few months now and the cumulative effect is becoming a bit too much, on EVERY level.
Ezra is in first grade now (and no, he did NOT start the year with a mohawk... maybe next time I cut his hair), and Malaki started preschool 3 mornings a week. I should be "doing the happy dance and feelin' the flow" with all this extra alone time, but as is my style I have found ways to fill the time. Both boys are adjusting well to their new environments and continue to amaze me with their abilities to make friends with so little effort. Is it because they're males? Or kids? I don't know, but I envy them.

Ki turned 4 yesterday and I can NOT stress to you how much I HATE the 4th birthday. It happened with Ezra, and now with Ki, but something less than magical happens on birthday number 4 that changes my adorable little toddlers into equally adorable but significantly older seeming little boys. We had a wonderful time celebrating him, and I found myself thanking God almost once every 5 minutes or so for His hand leading Ki to us through adoption. I could not adore him more if I tried, and my heart aches to think there was ever a chance he wouldn't end up as my child. It sounds crazy given how much I disliked being pregnant with Ezra (love Ezra, just hated pregnancy) but I actually find myself mourning those lost 9 months with Ki. Anyway, he got an MP3 player and although I thought he was a little too young for it, he has done a great job taking care of it (yes I know it's only been one day) and has been thoroughly entertained for the last hour just listening to his tunes. Right now I can hear him singing, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord... You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God, You do not faint, You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need, You lift us up on wings like eagles..." and just in case you think we're overly impressive or overly churchy... the song before that was "Sherry" by Frankie Valli. tee! hee!

Now my little ADD brain is struggling to find my train of thought while he sings...

gonna have to come back to this later... sorry. ;)