PRAXIS...

It has been a while since my last post, and because of that I am now avoiding posting at all. So much has happened and I'm not sure I have the time, energy, or focus to write about it all in a meaningful way. Still, I know that the longer I wait, the harder this all becomes, and I am LOVING the things that are happening in my life and want to put them out there for all to view and interact with. :)
So here goes...

Last Sunday (Easter) we held the first service of our new church. :) Not the first service AT a new church, but the FIRST service of a NEW church. For years we have been feeling called to do something different in our community. For much of that time, Cody was attempting to make some of those passions and ideas relevant to his position of associate pastor at the church he was employed at. We kept praying for direction, inspiration, etc., and it just never seemed to go anywhere. Small gains, but still not really doing the things we knew God was calling us to do.

This past fall, we felt God finally release Cody from his position at that church. We tried looking for (and interviewing for) other church jobs in other towns, but eventually realized God was releasing us from our church, but not from this community. That we were supposed to start intentionally meeting with people who don't like church, who won't come through the doors of other churches in our community, or who haven't yet found a place they feel like they belong. We assumed we would be meeting as a small group, hoped it would eventually become a couple small groups, and barely dared to dream it might become a church (although God had placed that desire in our hearts). Cody started looking for another job and immediately found one (has to be a God thing in this economy) and resigned his position as associate pastor. Well, one thing led to another rather quickly. Our small group wanted more... we knew God was calling us to more... we decided to risk it all and chase the dream! :) This has happened in the span of about 6 weeks...

So here we are... a church called Praxis. A bi-vocational husband and a million responsibilities. Over 40 people showing up for a first gathering, with only 2 weeks to spread the word, and no attempts at publicity other than word of mouth. 2 people decided to restart their relationship with God during the first talk! We are overwhelmed and humbled by God's provision and blessing. We are sensing something much larger at work and are excited to be in on the ground floor! We are hoping others will sense it too and want to join us... whether praying, moving here to help, praying, sending financial support, praying, attending our gatherings, praying, joining the launch team, praying, volunteering, praying... well you get the idea. None of this could have happened in our strength... so, we're hoping others see that too and will ask God if it's something they're supposed to be a part of as well. Now I'm rambling, but I warned this wouldn't be as eloquent as I'd like it to be... ;)

I have so much more to say, but really just can't find words. If you're curious to know more, I'd love to chat... Cody too. :) Otherwise, if you think of it, pray for us and for Praxis and for all involved! Thanks!!!

Soul Cravings...

So, I've been re-reading "Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus this week. Actually, I've been re-reading all the spots I had folded the page corner down or underlined something. I find this to be such an inspiring read... lots about God, connectedness, and hope... what more do we need?

Here are some of my favorites from the book:

"The more we live disconnected lives, the more we become indifferent to the well-being of others."

"God's love for us is never passive, but always passionate; and passion always leads to action."

"When we are full of hope, it's not because everything in the future is certain to us, but because the future itself is filled with promise... hope comes only from something we do not yet have, something we have not yet attained."

-Quoting Viktor Frankl, "He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how."

"When we live beneath our humanity, we become inhumane. When we live genuinely human lives, we become translucent reflections of divinity."

"Our brokenness is not proof that God could not or would not love us, but proof that what we need is the God who both created and loves us. What our souls long to become is not something other than human, but to become beautifully human."

"It's a troubling thing when your soul demands what your brain rejects. I guess if you think about it, if it wasn't for God, we might find ourselves capable of drowning in despair and thinking it was our natural habitat. Instead, we will always be haunted by this soul craving, this seemingly irrational need for hope."

I couldn't have said it any better... hope you are filled with hope and longing today... :)

Answers

1. Lately by Jodeci
2. Playground by Another Bad Creation
3. El Segundo by Tribe Called Quest
4. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi
5. Freshmen by Verve Pipe
6. Jane Says by Jane's Addiction
7. Desperado by The Eagles
8. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
9. Not Your Stepping Stone by The Monkees
10. Better Man by Pearl Jam
11. When I See You Smile by Bad English
12. Surrender by Trixter (this one I knew would be totally random for
most people)
13. Glory of Love by Peter Cetera (Karate Kid Theme Song)
14. To Be With You by Mr. Big
15. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn

Oh and the last line of the blog is from the song Cantaloop by US3.

Name that Tune/Memory Lane

So, Cody introduced me to "Songza" last week and I am HOOKED! At the moment I do not have an ipod. To be honest and far more lame, I have NEVER owned an ipod, or even an mp3 player of any sort. Strange cuz I'm a music nut. Anyway...
My latest addiction is finding songs lost to me long ago, most of which remind me of a specific place or person. It's SO FUN! I'm most struck by random lines in the song that I had forgotten I knew... and somehow still remember! So, if you're out there, see if you can guess the song based on the line provided...

1. "I'm a man of many wishes, hope my premonition misses..." (hint: "some of you may know this song, it's an oldie... but a goodie...")

2. "I gotta break cuz my mother said, 'Be home by de-zart.'"

3. "It was a nice little pub in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere wouldda been better, I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em. Ali had the fruit punch..."

4. "I'm so far away each step that I take's on my way home..."

5. "We try to wash our hands of all of this, we never talk of a lack in relationships..."

6. "...have you seen my wig around? I feel naked without it..."

7. "Don't ya draw the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able. But the queen of hearts is always your best bet..."

8. "I find it hard, it's hard to find, oh well- whatever- nevermind..." (doesn't everyone know this one?)

9. "You're reading all your high fashion magazines, the clothes you're wearin' girl are causin' public scenes..."

10. "she dreams in color, she dreams in red..." (okay, not the most random line in the song, but what can you do?)

11. "sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight..."

12. "You use words as weapons, I use love as a shield. So tell me, why're we on this battlefield?"

13. "Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret..."

14. "Build up your confidence, so you can be on top for once. Wake up, who cares about little boys who talk too much?

15. "Is it my turn to hold you by your hands? Tell you I love you and you'd hear me..."


So many songs, so little time! HA! HA! Hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane, there's just something fun about good music and good friends. :) If you're looking for a good song to remind you of me (you know you are) try "Amanda" by Waylon Jennings, Painted Orange, or Boston. tee! hee! I'm sure I inspired all 3... ;)

Just for good measure, I also have "Informer" by Snow on my list, but I had no idea how to write any lines from that song... :)

So, guess away and post any that you think you've figured out! We'll see if anyone can get them all! Oh and as you're guessing, just jump to the jam boogie woogie jam slam...

Thought I'd Share...

Just got a parenting idea from a friend and thought I'd pass it along... if you can't find time for a "date" with each of your children as often as you'd like, make a date for "late night." Once a week, keep one of your children up 15-20 minutes later than the rest. Once everyone else is settled into bed, let that one child have uninterrupted mommy and daddy time. AND... let them choose how to spend it! This is something I KNOW we can do, and that excites me! And, since it excites me, I thought it might excite you too! :) Any other great ideas?!?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE pics of Cody and I!

More Connected?

So, after living here in the boondocks for 5 years, they have finally figured out a way to get us high speed internet! (and for only $10 more a month!) WOO! HOO! We've had dial-up all this time and it was getting old. We couldn't watch any video clips, download things with large picture files, listen to music, etc. without getting timed out and kicked off the internet. So... thanks to DSL we should do a better job of being "connected." Hopefully that means more photos on this blog and that I'll find an excuse to update it more frequently. :) Unfortunately, now facebook is giving me problems so I can't go through and look at all the stuff friends have posted that I've wanted to see! I did finally add pics to this blog, specifically the post about Ki's birthday. I think there are a few more that I need to work on as well. In the meantime, thanks for your patience and keep your eyes open for new posts and or additions to old ones! :)

Moments...

These are the moments I wish I would capture more often. Absolutely nothing exciting, just the reality of walking through the store with the boys... an unspoken tenderness, trust, comfort, etc. A moment where you realize, "this is the life I always wanted."

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Sorry it's been a while...

I'm having trouble posting lately because I'm not really sure I have all that much to say. :) Those that know me would find that to be a comical statement, considering how much I TALK! Still, it's one thing to be a motor mouth in the moment with one or two friends, and completey another to write those same thoughts down and put them out there for who knows who to read. Not to mention the fact that I'm a little too ADD to write anything coherent when there's distractions around me... and there are ALWAYS distractions. Right now the boys are in here... Ezra's playing around on the piano and Ki's running in circles taunting the dog. It has taken me 20 minutes to write this little bit. Some of my longest posts have taken less time, but if you notice, most of them are late at night when everyone else is sleeping!
So, I promise, the moment inspiration strikes again, or I have a few moments without the chaos, I will be back...

Christmas Confusion...

So a few years back we were trying to explain to Ezra that Christmas is actually about Jesus' birthday and NOT about Santa Claus (still working on that by the way), and Ezra decided that we can't really celebrate Jesus' birthday unless we have a birthday cake. Solid reasoning right? So, since that time, it has been a family tradition to have birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve.

This year I was making the cake with Ki and he said, "Mom, that cake is for Jesus right?" I said it was, and he said, "and Jesus lives in my heart, right?" I said yes. Ki got this terrible look on his face and went quiet. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and said, "Mom, I don't want you to cut me open and feed Jesus his cake. That would really hurt!!!"

My children are HILARIOUS...

Snow Days

I'm just wondering at what point in my life will the words, "Snow Day!" not thrill me? As a child, those were some of the most amazing words in the English language. The one time they cancelled school in college, my friends and I embarked on a "great adventure" (very fun!). As a fifth grade teacher my love for the words grew to a level I cannot even begin to express in words... For the past few years I babysat for friends who teach, so the "snow day call" meant I could sleep 'til my boys woke up and have a day alone with them. This year it just means Ezra's home and fun should be had by all. I LOVE SNOW DAYS! Today was #3 and we convinced daddy to take a long lunch, so sledding and hot cocoa were had by all (even Grandma Gascho joined the sledding fun since she didn't have to teach today)! And although it means we'll have school longer into the summer, I hope there's many more to come. :)

Ezra's First Snow Day EVER!

This was Ezra's first snow day! November 25th, 2008! So, since it was so close to Thanksgiving... what were we to do?!? We don't believe in making "snowmen" so, a turkey it was. :)

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HALLOWEEN with Thing 1 and Thing 2!

Malaki is now THREE!

Well, my little one is THREE YEARS OLD TODAY! How is that possible?!? Ki is becoming such a little man. He is developing his own, very distinct, personality and I love that I am home to experience every minute of it!

It has been a hard 2 months for him since Ezra left for all day kindergarten, but he is beginning to come into his own, and I am learning so much more about him now that it's just the two of us. Strange how different he is when he's playing off Ezra's personality verses just spending time with me. His language skills are gaining with leaps and bounds these days, and he's starting to become quite the storyteller. He is determined to be a "wock stah" (rock star) when he grows up, and with his love of music, I wouldn't be surprised if he accomplishes that goal. :)

For his birthday he wanted a "Little Einsteins" party, so I made a very lame attempt at making him a "rocket" birthday cake. The frosting gave me A LOT of trouble, but other than that, I think it turned out fine. Ki loved it, and as soon as I get a chance, I'll add some pics to this post.

For now, you can check out the video Cody made to celebrate the past year of Ki's life: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuoHPyl8K3w

I thank God everyday for the blessing of having Ki in my life. The adoption process was a pain in the rear, but the result has been priceless. What a treasure I have in my little man!

Wild Goose Chase

So I've been reading a LOT lately. Not really sure why, but there's been this gnawing need to know more... like something waiting at the gates, dying to be let in, a hunger or thirst of some sort. I read Margaret Feinberg's "Organic God" and "The Sacred Echo." I read, "The Shack" (I could, and probably will write an entire blog about that one... LOVED IT!) and "Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus. But this morning I started, "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson. I'm only 2 chapters in and I am almost shaking with excitement, fear, and revelation. I hesistate to write any of this, because what if I don't feel this way tomorrow? But most of me knows that I have felt this way for years and today was the first time I even entertained the idea that it might be something that requires my action.

Since about 6 months into our move here to Fairview I started having this ache for all the abandoned housing in our town. Then I learned that our county has the highest percentages in Michigan for unemployment, poverty, and homelessness. How do you live in Northern Michigan without a home (especially in the winter)? Most of our homeless are classified as "hidden homeless" because they bounce from home to home, living with friends and family, or in cars, etc. Our schools can attest to the impacts that has, as so many children are in and out of schools as they bounce from one part of the county to another.

So the ache, combined with the knowledge, and I started wondering, "How do we connect all these homeless families with all these empty houses?" The truth is, any housing that might be affordable, is not very liveable. We have lots of cabins for sale around here, but few are insulated for winter use. Many old homes available, but they are in need of new windows and roofs, and floor coverings and fresh paint, etc. So a family who could barely afford the mortgage will inherit a home they cannot afford to make liveable for their family. What can be done?

Habitat for Humanity is up and active in our area, and they have done a great job of building a house or two a year. Still, on some level I think it's wasteful to build something brand new when there are so many homes sitting around, and so many families in need.

I desperately desire to buy up these houses, one by one, and renovate them... making them decent, clean, updated homes, that children can be raised in and parents can takes some pride in. Nothing fancy, but homes of good quality, updated in ways that will make them more energy efficient and built to last. I want owners to put down roots in our community- for their sakes, their kids' sakes, and for our community's sake. By fixing the run down properties, everyone's home values will increase, and that is good for the town as a whole. By giving people deeper roots in our community, local businesses and schools will benefit. I want to do this, and then sell the remodelled homes for the amount I paid for them originally, OR LESS.

... and there's the rub. We can't even afford to replace our own less than functional stove (or do a million other needed renovations), let alone buy and renovate homes (at a loss of income) for others. And yet... it would seem that God is telling me that He has given me this nagging passion for a reason. I have no idea what step to take next, but I know I'm going to have to take it. Will you pray with me?

Northwoods Playhouse

So Ezra and Ki have been wanting a fort (or "deer blind" as Ezra calls it) for some time now. I think Cody, Grandpa, and Uncle Dustin may have spoiled them just a bit! Yup, that's an 8 x 8 foot cabin on stilts... with a deck... and real windows... with screens... There will eventually be a swingset coming off the left side and a sandbox underneath, but for now, the boys are in heaven!

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Feeling Like a Michigan Winter

Ever feel like you are winter? Let me expound on that thought... We all look forward to spring... we want it to be here, we crave the end of the cabin fever... BUT...

Spring takes yuckiness in order to be successful. In order to have May flowers, we need April showers (or snow). In order to see grass again, we have to have the muddy mess that follows the snow's thaw. Before we see buds on all the trees, we see all the wet, heavy, brown oak leaves matted to the ground (since they waited until snowfall to finally drop, and could not be raked until now).

In my spirit, in my home, in my deepest desires I'm craving spring... newness, freshness, cleanliness, etc. But, the reality is, I don't want to wash all the windows, weed the flower beds, sort through the closests, gut the garage, wash window treatments, start walking, shovel up a winter's worth of dog doo in the yard (yuck!), buy shorts AGAIN, etc. I know that I want to be on the other side of all that, but I don't want to go through it. So... I deem myself a Michigan winter... just not ready to let go and embrace spring... :)

Soon, I promise!!! :)

Experience

My parents came to town this weekend and my mom and I had a conversation yesterday about money. I just re-read my "pity-party" post and it was almost comical in light of what was said...

We were discussing the various things in our homes that needed to be updated, and time frames for getting them done, etc. and I told her about a decision Cody and I made last June that has impacted our financial choices since. When it comes to money we spend on ourselves (not that there's a lot) we decided it was more important to spend our time and resources on experiences than on things. That our children would be better people for it, our family would be stronger for it, and God might be more glorified by it. Then I decide to do a kitchen and completely forgot about it... seriously...

What do you think about this plan? In looking back at my childhood, my mind doesn't immediately go to the suck tight, ankle zipper, stone-washed, pair of Guess jeans my mom and dad spent my entire Christmas wad on in 6th grade. I remember camping trips, Cedar Point, mission trips to Mexico, volunteering at the Gospel mission, making forts with dad, etc.

Experiences, not things. As a child I wanted "things" and my parents did their best to provide them for me... but that's not what made me who I am. The "things" are not my touchstone when I relive my past... So what if we're intentional about experiences... what then?

Who needs a new kitchen, right?!?

EZRA'S FIVE!!!

It seems utterly impossible, but my little boy is FIVE YEARS OLD! Seriously, how did that happen?!? When asked about his turning 5 the other day he responded, "yeah, and that's a mystery because my mom is much too young to have a 5 year old!" How can I not adore him?!? :)

My little man is a passionate, expressive, tender, ingenuitive, snuggly, brilliant, creative, goofy little guy who amazes us at every corner. I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom... I promise! Each day brings with it new amazement that God has chosen to bless us with his presence in our lives. When I think back to the 4 1/2 months on bedrest and all the fear of miscarriage, I shutter to think how different our lives would be if things had gone the other way. I thank God for shielding us from that pain, and I praise Him for the wonder that is Ezra!

I'll add b-day pics to this as soon as I have some...

Poor Me!

Ever throw your own pity party? I like to think I'm not that kind of person, that I have more perspective than that, that I know how well off I am... the truth is, I'm not, I don't, and I rarely ever am.
It sucks to admit that, but it's true.
For instance, this December we had some extra money from various Christmas gifts, and I sarcastically said to Cody, "well, I'd love to spend this, but I know as soon as I do we'll have some crazy need arise and I'll kick myself for not saving it." I say that because it has happened the last 6 or 7 times we've had any extra cash. So, after sitting on it a month, I came up with some plans to fix up our kitchen (something I've wanted to do since we moved in 4 years ago). I added a little of my daycare cash to the mix and all of the sudden- dreams were born. Most of you know how much I love to renovate, so this was really exciting stuff! We were moving beyond painting a room, to things involving countertops and creating a pass through in the wall and adding an additional cabinet for storage and workspace. I spent many weekends trolling the aisles of Home Depot and Lowe's sniffing out good deals and ideal color schemes (not a small feat when you live an hour away from such places), not to mention countless hours surfing the net for coupons and other savings. Everything was in place, it was actually going to happen... and then...
The water went brown. We got it fixed, but it looks like we'll need a new well this summer...
We got our taxes done. A miscalculation for last year (not our fault) and now we owe around $500 by April.
Cody messed up his knee again, surgery may be looming...
Cody's car broke down.
Then the van broke down.

Seriously...
I'm so ready for a pity party, and I'm trying hard not to indulge my inner four year old. I know better. I know it's only money and that my kitchen is fine how it is. I know I need a cheaper hobby! :) I know that God is our ulitmate source for security, not an increasing bank account. I know I can't take any of it with me, and that I should be thankful for a healthy and whole family. I know there are so many in this world (even many of my friends) who are in much more difficult situations, monetarily, relationally, spiritually, etc. I know all this, and yet I sit here and pout... BUT I REALLY WANTED A NEW KITCHEN!!!

Pray for Cody's sanity... he's a saint when I'm a brat! tee! hee!