I don't like babies. It's true, and horrifying to some of you. Others have known this about me for quite some time. When Ezra was born I assumed it would all be euphoric and wonderful, and it was at times, but I also had this nagging sense that I wasn't loving it the same way some of my friends were. Having been on bedrest, I was battling a ridiculous amount of fatigue and within 6 weeks I was back to teaching 5th graders, so I assumed my lack of... um... "euphoria"... had it's reasons. Cody however, was very vocal about the fact that he was CERTAIN he was NOT a "baby person." How can men be so sure of things like that?
After prayer and research, we decided to pursue an INFANT adoption next (I know, right?). When we brought Ki home he was 4 days old, and it was wonderful for a time. However, about 2 months into it all, I knew I loved both my boys with my whole heart- and then some, but I also knew (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that I was NOT a "baby person" either. Cody and I promised each other, "no more babies."
So imagine my surprise 4 years later, when (after pursuing adoption through the foster care system this time around) we found ourselves with 3 more children... a 4 year old, a 3 year old, and a BABY! Seriously God?!? Although, as I've said a million times now, if you HAD to have a baby, Brooklynn's the baby you'd want. She's practically perfect at all times and couldn't be easier if she tried. Tonight however, she's crying and cutting another tooth. So as I look forward to a very long night I can't help but think... "I am SO NOT A BABY PERSON!"
God's teaching me something, I know He is, but I'll need a little more sleep if I'm gonna have the energy or clarity to figure it out. ;)
(additional little confession... I am writing tomorrow's post tonight, but setting it to pop up for everyone else tomorrow)
Monday, January 04, 2010
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Old School
Okay, random confession #2... my favorite Will Smith song of all time is not from one of his albums, it's from the TV show The Fresh Prince of Bellaire (yup, I watched it, regularly). I'm sure it doesn't have a title, because his character is just making it up while trapped in a basement with his girlfriend (his girlfriend who's pulling off her fake nails and taking out her weave).
It goes:
"I'm stuck in a basement sitting on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves. Goin' out of my mind I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers..." ha ha ha!
What makes it even more great is that when I was dating Cody I randomly broke out the first line of the song, and he threw out the second line... should have known then that he was the one. ;) We still throw it around from time to time, usually when we're stuck somewhere or extremely bored.
Anyone remember this one?
It goes:
"I'm stuck in a basement sitting on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves. Goin' out of my mind I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers..." ha ha ha!
What makes it even more great is that when I was dating Cody I randomly broke out the first line of the song, and he threw out the second line... should have known then that he was the one. ;) We still throw it around from time to time, usually when we're stuck somewhere or extremely bored.
Anyone remember this one?
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Wishful Thinking...
So, I am going to attempt 30 days of authenticity. Each day I will post something odd, and honest, and we'll see where the month takes us. :) All will be short because life is too insane for long posts. Some will be funny (I hope) and some will be deep (probably) and others might just be too much information. Consider yourself forewarned... ;)
So, I'll start with the most shocking thing I can think of at this particular moment...
This morning when I woke up and was getting into the shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and for a split second I wished I was pregnant. Not because I want to be pregnant, or because I want another baby, but because then I'd have a good excuse for the excess weight in my mid-section. Yup... I did. AND... it's not the first time I've had that thought. ;)
So, I'll start with the most shocking thing I can think of at this particular moment...
This morning when I woke up and was getting into the shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and for a split second I wished I was pregnant. Not because I want to be pregnant, or because I want another baby, but because then I'd have a good excuse for the excess weight in my mid-section. Yup... I did. AND... it's not the first time I've had that thought. ;)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
PRIMAL
So a few weeks ago I was asked to participate in a "blog tour" of Mark Batterson's new book, "Primal." If you remember, last year at this time I was singing the praises of his book, "Wild Goose Chase," so I was super excited to receive an advanced copy of his latest writing venture. So far, I have not been disappointed. :)
I say "so far," because I am not finished with the book. To be perfectly honest, I am only half way through chapter 4. Although it is a quick read, there's a lot to chew on, and I'm trying to take my time. Couple that with 5 children under the age of 6, Christmas, family events, a church plant, etc. and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. However, I did say I would blog about my take on the book, and that I would do it this week, so here goes...
In an effort to save time, and keep at least one eye on the little boys wrestling on the living room floor at the moment and a baby who is grunting in a way that makes me think a diaper change is looming, I'm just going to use bullets to share the parts of the book I underlined (meaning I agree, they struck a chord, or I wanna think more about them). I will, asap, write a more thorough review, but hopefully this will give you a taste.
Chapter 1:
I'll try to post again tomorrow. I'll be praying that you find something primal in your life today... something stripped of all the excess and reminiscent of how it all began. Something pure, that brings you joy... GREAT JOY!
Until then...
I say "so far," because I am not finished with the book. To be perfectly honest, I am only half way through chapter 4. Although it is a quick read, there's a lot to chew on, and I'm trying to take my time. Couple that with 5 children under the age of 6, Christmas, family events, a church plant, etc. and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. However, I did say I would blog about my take on the book, and that I would do it this week, so here goes...
In an effort to save time, and keep at least one eye on the little boys wrestling on the living room floor at the moment and a baby who is grunting in a way that makes me think a diaper change is looming, I'm just going to use bullets to share the parts of the book I underlined (meaning I agree, they struck a chord, or I wanna think more about them). I will, asap, write a more thorough review, but hopefully this will give you a taste.
Chapter 1:
- "I couldn't help but wonder if we have diluted the truths of Christianity and settled for superficialities. I couldn't help but wonder if we have accepted a form of Christianity that is more educated but less powerful, more civilized but less compassionate, more acceptable but less authentic than that which our spiritual ancestors practiced."
- "The heart of Christianity is primal compassion. The soul of Christianity is primal wonder. The mind of Christianity is primal curiosity. The strength of Christianity is primal energy."
- "Go back to that place where God opened your eyes and broke your heart with compassion for others. Go back to that place where the glory of God flooded your soul and left you speechless with wonder. Go back to the place where thoughts about God filled your mind with holy curiosity. Go back to that place where a God-given dream caused a rush of adrenaline that filled you with supernatural energy." (just fyi... my "place" for most of these is Somerset Beach Campground)
- "If you are in Christ, and Christ is in you, you cannot be okay with suffering or injustice or starvation. Why? Because His heart is in you. And His heart beats for the suffering, the victim, the poor, and the needy."
- "Have you ever experienced a sympathy breakthrough? A moment when your inclination to hate was overcome by your will to love? A moment when proactive compassion overrode reactive anger? A moment when you cared more about someone else's pain than your own? Those are the moments when you recapture parts of your soul that you have lost. Those are the moments when you learn what it really means to love God with all your heart."
- "...compassion is always the right reaction."
- "Let me ask you a question: what will kill you if you don't do it? What makes you glad or sad or mad? What puts a holy smile on your face? What causes your spirit to sob uncontrollably? What makes you pound your fists on the table out of righteous indignation? Somewhere in the mixture of that gladness, sadness and madness is your God-ordained passion. Or maybe I should say compassion, because you are feeling what God feels. And once you identify it, doing something about it isn't optional. You can't not do something about it."
I'll try to post again tomorrow. I'll be praying that you find something primal in your life today... something stripped of all the excess and reminiscent of how it all began. Something pure, that brings you joy... GREAT JOY!
Until then...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
continuation...
Sorry 'bout the last post, but it kind of illustrated what I was trying to say... not enough time... or focus.
This past weekend I went to Traverse City to meet up with one of my good friends from high school and college. She was staying there for a media specialists convention and wondered if I might be up for a "girls night out!" Oh yeah! Cody told me to take the opportunity and stay an extra night at the hotel by myself. He thought I might enjoy some time to re-group and breathe just a bit. I needed it... I know I did. But somehow, after a day away from my husband and kids, I just wanted to be home. I knew when I left that I needed to get some intense one-on-one time with God and figure out where I'm headed, where I'd like to be headed, where God wants me headed, and how to get where I should be going. Did that make sense? Anyway, after parting ways with Rachel, I finished the last of my to-do list, and then drove to a scenic overlook on the bay, pulled out my Bible and a notepad, and attempted to make the time I've been missing. I made goals for 4 main areas of my life (all of them overlap incessantly, but oh well): spiritual, relational, physical, and personal. Each goal had 2 or 3 action steps.
What I realized as I processed was that I haven't been taking care of myself. I think that we are supposed to put others before ourselves, don't get me wrong, that's scriptural... but it says, "before" ---not to "ignore" yourself. When I am drained, I do not respect my husband the way I should. When I am tired, I do not respond to my children from the well-spring of love I have for them, but rather from the ragged edges of my last nerve. When I am overweight and generally unhealthy I do not treat myself with kindness or confidence. When all of the above overwhelm me, time alone with God becomes one more thing on the "to-do" list, instead of a welcome respite in my day. I say all this because I think its what women do... moms especially. I think it's the way we are most vulnerable. We get so busy taking care of everyone, that... eventually... we can't take care of anyone. All because we don't slow down long enough to take care of ourselves. To reflect on who we are, who we desire to be, and delight in our Savior who loving agrees to guide us along the way.
Much to my dismay, I spent my entire day today in bed. I have this inner ear vertigo thing that happens once every 6 months or so. I wake up raring to start the day, and then the room spins uncontrollably (like a head rush that doesn't stop), I start to feel like I'm going to vomit, and I wind up back in bed. I'm unable to sit up, open my eyes, or even talk for fear of more spinning and vomiting. I take some motion sickness meds, lay in the dark for the next 8 hours, and finally around dinnertime am able to eat a little, sit a little, and talk a little. Eventually, I feel fine, but weak.... that's where I am now.
And what did I learn today? Everything went fine without me. Don't get me wrong, I have a phenomenal husband who took a sick day and handled everything...and he did have his share of "what should I do about________?" questions, but it went fine without me. And maybe that's the point. I CAN take time for myself. It WILL benefit everyone in the long run, and it'll be okay for short bursts of time without me.
So... now I'm a "yes mom" who takes "me time." :) At least that's one of my new goals. Thought I'd put it out there to hold myself more accountable... and because I like to ramble on needlessly when I write. ;)
This past weekend I went to Traverse City to meet up with one of my good friends from high school and college. She was staying there for a media specialists convention and wondered if I might be up for a "girls night out!" Oh yeah! Cody told me to take the opportunity and stay an extra night at the hotel by myself. He thought I might enjoy some time to re-group and breathe just a bit. I needed it... I know I did. But somehow, after a day away from my husband and kids, I just wanted to be home. I knew when I left that I needed to get some intense one-on-one time with God and figure out where I'm headed, where I'd like to be headed, where God wants me headed, and how to get where I should be going. Did that make sense? Anyway, after parting ways with Rachel, I finished the last of my to-do list, and then drove to a scenic overlook on the bay, pulled out my Bible and a notepad, and attempted to make the time I've been missing. I made goals for 4 main areas of my life (all of them overlap incessantly, but oh well): spiritual, relational, physical, and personal. Each goal had 2 or 3 action steps.
What I realized as I processed was that I haven't been taking care of myself. I think that we are supposed to put others before ourselves, don't get me wrong, that's scriptural... but it says, "before" ---not to "ignore" yourself. When I am drained, I do not respect my husband the way I should. When I am tired, I do not respond to my children from the well-spring of love I have for them, but rather from the ragged edges of my last nerve. When I am overweight and generally unhealthy I do not treat myself with kindness or confidence. When all of the above overwhelm me, time alone with God becomes one more thing on the "to-do" list, instead of a welcome respite in my day. I say all this because I think its what women do... moms especially. I think it's the way we are most vulnerable. We get so busy taking care of everyone, that... eventually... we can't take care of anyone. All because we don't slow down long enough to take care of ourselves. To reflect on who we are, who we desire to be, and delight in our Savior who loving agrees to guide us along the way.
Much to my dismay, I spent my entire day today in bed. I have this inner ear vertigo thing that happens once every 6 months or so. I wake up raring to start the day, and then the room spins uncontrollably (like a head rush that doesn't stop), I start to feel like I'm going to vomit, and I wind up back in bed. I'm unable to sit up, open my eyes, or even talk for fear of more spinning and vomiting. I take some motion sickness meds, lay in the dark for the next 8 hours, and finally around dinnertime am able to eat a little, sit a little, and talk a little. Eventually, I feel fine, but weak.... that's where I am now.
And what did I learn today? Everything went fine without me. Don't get me wrong, I have a phenomenal husband who took a sick day and handled everything...and he did have his share of "what should I do about________?" questions, but it went fine without me. And maybe that's the point. I CAN take time for myself. It WILL benefit everyone in the long run, and it'll be okay for short bursts of time without me.
So... now I'm a "yes mom" who takes "me time." :) At least that's one of my new goals. Thought I'd put it out there to hold myself more accountable... and because I like to ramble on needlessly when I write. ;)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Not Enough Time
wow, it has been too long... (and this post probably will be too) and in the interest of authenticity, I don't really even want to write right now. The crazy thing is that I've been "intending" to write for some time and I keep putting it off. Today, out of the blue, I've had 2 comments on old posts. Strange. I'm taking it as a sign that I just need to do it.
I'm not sure if anyone else is in this position (although I'm willing to bet more than a few are) but I just don't have enough time. I feel like life has been in hyper-mode for a few months now and the cumulative effect is becoming a bit too much, on EVERY level.
Ezra is in first grade now (and no, he did NOT start the year with a mohawk... maybe next time I cut his hair), and Malaki started preschool 3 mornings a week. I should be "doing the happy dance and feelin' the flow" with all this extra alone time, but as is my style I have found ways to fill the time. Both boys are adjusting well to their new environments and continue to amaze me with their abilities to make friends with so little effort. Is it because they're males? Or kids? I don't know, but I envy them.
Ki turned 4 yesterday and I can NOT stress to you how much I HATE the 4th birthday. It happened with Ezra, and now with Ki, but something less than magical happens on birthday number 4 that changes my adorable little toddlers into equally adorable but significantly older seeming little boys. We had a wonderful time celebrating him, and I found myself thanking God almost once every 5 minutes or so for His hand leading Ki to us through adoption. I could not adore him more if I tried, and my heart aches to think there was ever a chance he wouldn't end up as my child. It sounds crazy given how much I disliked being pregnant with Ezra (love Ezra, just hated pregnancy) but I actually find myself mourning those lost 9 months with Ki. Anyway, he got an MP3 player and although I thought he was a little too young for it, he has done a great job taking care of it (yes I know it's only been one day) and has been thoroughly entertained for the last hour just listening to his tunes. Right now I can hear him singing, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord... You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God, You do not faint, You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need, You lift us up on wings like eagles..." and just in case you think we're overly impressive or overly churchy... the song before that was "Sherry" by Frankie Valli. tee! hee!
Now my little ADD brain is struggling to find my train of thought while he sings...
gonna have to come back to this later... sorry. ;)
I'm not sure if anyone else is in this position (although I'm willing to bet more than a few are) but I just don't have enough time. I feel like life has been in hyper-mode for a few months now and the cumulative effect is becoming a bit too much, on EVERY level.
Ezra is in first grade now (and no, he did NOT start the year with a mohawk... maybe next time I cut his hair), and Malaki started preschool 3 mornings a week. I should be "doing the happy dance and feelin' the flow" with all this extra alone time, but as is my style I have found ways to fill the time. Both boys are adjusting well to their new environments and continue to amaze me with their abilities to make friends with so little effort. Is it because they're males? Or kids? I don't know, but I envy them.
Ki turned 4 yesterday and I can NOT stress to you how much I HATE the 4th birthday. It happened with Ezra, and now with Ki, but something less than magical happens on birthday number 4 that changes my adorable little toddlers into equally adorable but significantly older seeming little boys. We had a wonderful time celebrating him, and I found myself thanking God almost once every 5 minutes or so for His hand leading Ki to us through adoption. I could not adore him more if I tried, and my heart aches to think there was ever a chance he wouldn't end up as my child. It sounds crazy given how much I disliked being pregnant with Ezra (love Ezra, just hated pregnancy) but I actually find myself mourning those lost 9 months with Ki. Anyway, he got an MP3 player and although I thought he was a little too young for it, he has done a great job taking care of it (yes I know it's only been one day) and has been thoroughly entertained for the last hour just listening to his tunes. Right now I can hear him singing, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord... You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God, You do not faint, You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need, You lift us up on wings like eagles..." and just in case you think we're overly impressive or overly churchy... the song before that was "Sherry" by Frankie Valli. tee! hee!
Now my little ADD brain is struggling to find my train of thought while he sings...
gonna have to come back to this later... sorry. ;)
Saturday, August 01, 2009
PRAXIS update
Just wanted to encourage you to check out our new church website!
www.createpraxis.com
www.createpraxis.com
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
"Yes" Mom
So, I was challenged the other day by another mom to become a "yes" mom. I've been thinking about it a lot since then. The idea is that many times as moms we say "no" to something without really thinking about our reasoning. Sometimes I say no because I don't want to deal with the mess the proposed activity will create (ie. painting, playdough, putting the hose in the sandbox to make mud-castles, etc.). Sometimes I say no because of the time involved ("mom, will you read me this book?"- when its a 150 page novel), and sometimes I say no because of the extra work it will add to my already busy day ("mom, can I have a friend over to play?"- then of course there's extra food to make, a friend to go pick up, another mom to call and coordinate with, etc.). How many times do I say "no" with completely selfish motives? ouch. Don't get me wrong, there are totally appropriate times to say no... I'm just realizing that those times are far less frequent than I think.... and that I can be really selfish. So, I am going to try being more of a "yes" mom. I'm going to try to evaluate my motives BEFORE giving an answer, and I'm putting it out there for you to read because I want to feel accountable. The above pictures are an example of a small step in the right direction. This was Ezra's last day of kindergarten, and he asked me to cut his hair to look like his daddy's. I wasn't totally sold on the idea, but I figured, it's just hair. So we buzzed it with a 1 guard and I felt happy to have given him something he wanted. Unfortunately, he cried because he had been hoping I would bic it the way daddy does. :) Since I don't plan on shaving his head with a razor (he would never sit still enough and I'm terrified he'd end up with a sunburned skull) it'll have to do. This morning he told me he wants a mohawk the 1st day of first grade... ;)
Also, I wish I had a photo of the tent we built to hide their bunk bed... I'm glad I didn't go with my gut response to that question... hours of fun for everyone! :)
So, "Just say 'YES!'" and if you hear me say "no" for no good reason, hit me. :)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
our life in a nutshell
We've had lots of "events" lately, and I know I am doing a terrible job of keeping the blog up-to-date... in an attempt to make up for it, here's a summary of our most recent actvities...
- Ezra finished kindergarten and asked to spend the day golfing with daddy to celebrate--- Cody was happy to humor him. :)
- Grandma and Grandpa Gascho bought 100 chicks, and we are attempting to help raise them... I'm wondering/worried about how the boys will react when it's time to take them to the butcher. I'm looking forward to the less expensive, organic, free range chicken this year... I guess I need to buy a freezer though.
- The boys both played soccer this spring and it was hilarious. Ezra's getting pretty good for his age, and Ki... well, whenever the grass wasn't more interesting, he did fairly well. tee! hee!
- I downloaded Skype yesterday so we can chat with friends who are far away... haven't used it yet. I'm hoping to get my parents using it.
- Our foster care license FINALLY came through! We are now just waiting for a call...
- Praxis continues to go well, and we continue to be exhausted and prayerful. Trying to discern God's will for us as we pursue this adventure.
- We had our first campfire of the year tonight... mmmmm... smores....
- My children are hooked on "Deadliest Catch." Ezra can name all the boats, their captains, and some crew members. I'm just thankful he hasn't asked why there's so much beeping when the men are talking. ;)
- Ki is obsessed with the Styx song, "Mr. Roboto" and has an impressive robot dance to go with it.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
PRAXIS...
It has been a while since my last post, and because of that I am now avoiding posting at all. So much has happened and I'm not sure I have the time, energy, or focus to write about it all in a meaningful way. Still, I know that the longer I wait, the harder this all becomes, and I am LOVING the things that are happening in my life and want to put them out there for all to view and interact with. :)
So here goes...
Last Sunday (Easter) we held the first service of our new church. :) Not the first service AT a new church, but the FIRST service of a NEW church. For years we have been feeling called to do something different in our community. For much of that time, Cody was attempting to make some of those passions and ideas relevant to his position of associate pastor at the church he was employed at. We kept praying for direction, inspiration, etc., and it just never seemed to go anywhere. Small gains, but still not really doing the things we knew God was calling us to do.
This past fall, we felt God finally release Cody from his position at that church. We tried looking for (and interviewing for) other church jobs in other towns, but eventually realized God was releasing us from our church, but not from this community. That we were supposed to start intentionally meeting with people who don't like church, who won't come through the doors of other churches in our community, or who haven't yet found a place they feel like they belong. We assumed we would be meeting as a small group, hoped it would eventually become a couple small groups, and barely dared to dream it might become a church (although God had placed that desire in our hearts). Cody started looking for another job and immediately found one (has to be a God thing in this economy) and resigned his position as associate pastor. Well, one thing led to another rather quickly. Our small group wanted more... we knew God was calling us to more... we decided to risk it all and chase the dream! :) This has happened in the span of about 6 weeks...
So here we are... a church called Praxis. A bi-vocational husband and a million responsibilities. Over 40 people showing up for a first gathering, with only 2 weeks to spread the word, and no attempts at publicity other than word of mouth. 2 people decided to restart their relationship with God during the first talk! We are overwhelmed and humbled by God's provision and blessing. We are sensing something much larger at work and are excited to be in on the ground floor! We are hoping others will sense it too and want to join us... whether praying, moving here to help, praying, sending financial support, praying, attending our gatherings, praying, joining the launch team, praying, volunteering, praying... well you get the idea. None of this could have happened in our strength... so, we're hoping others see that too and will ask God if it's something they're supposed to be a part of as well. Now I'm rambling, but I warned this wouldn't be as eloquent as I'd like it to be... ;)
I have so much more to say, but really just can't find words. If you're curious to know more, I'd love to chat... Cody too. :) Otherwise, if you think of it, pray for us and for Praxis and for all involved! Thanks!!!
So here goes...
Last Sunday (Easter) we held the first service of our new church. :) Not the first service AT a new church, but the FIRST service of a NEW church. For years we have been feeling called to do something different in our community. For much of that time, Cody was attempting to make some of those passions and ideas relevant to his position of associate pastor at the church he was employed at. We kept praying for direction, inspiration, etc., and it just never seemed to go anywhere. Small gains, but still not really doing the things we knew God was calling us to do.
This past fall, we felt God finally release Cody from his position at that church. We tried looking for (and interviewing for) other church jobs in other towns, but eventually realized God was releasing us from our church, but not from this community. That we were supposed to start intentionally meeting with people who don't like church, who won't come through the doors of other churches in our community, or who haven't yet found a place they feel like they belong. We assumed we would be meeting as a small group, hoped it would eventually become a couple small groups, and barely dared to dream it might become a church (although God had placed that desire in our hearts). Cody started looking for another job and immediately found one (has to be a God thing in this economy) and resigned his position as associate pastor. Well, one thing led to another rather quickly. Our small group wanted more... we knew God was calling us to more... we decided to risk it all and chase the dream! :) This has happened in the span of about 6 weeks...
So here we are... a church called Praxis. A bi-vocational husband and a million responsibilities. Over 40 people showing up for a first gathering, with only 2 weeks to spread the word, and no attempts at publicity other than word of mouth. 2 people decided to restart their relationship with God during the first talk! We are overwhelmed and humbled by God's provision and blessing. We are sensing something much larger at work and are excited to be in on the ground floor! We are hoping others will sense it too and want to join us... whether praying, moving here to help, praying, sending financial support, praying, attending our gatherings, praying, joining the launch team, praying, volunteering, praying... well you get the idea. None of this could have happened in our strength... so, we're hoping others see that too and will ask God if it's something they're supposed to be a part of as well. Now I'm rambling, but I warned this wouldn't be as eloquent as I'd like it to be... ;)
I have so much more to say, but really just can't find words. If you're curious to know more, I'd love to chat... Cody too. :) Otherwise, if you think of it, pray for us and for Praxis and for all involved! Thanks!!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Soul Cravings...
So, I've been re-reading "Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus this week. Actually, I've been re-reading all the spots I had folded the page corner down or underlined something. I find this to be such an inspiring read... lots about God, connectedness, and hope... what more do we need?
Here are some of my favorites from the book:
"The more we live disconnected lives, the more we become indifferent to the well-being of others."
"God's love for us is never passive, but always passionate; and passion always leads to action."
"When we are full of hope, it's not because everything in the future is certain to us, but because the future itself is filled with promise... hope comes only from something we do not yet have, something we have not yet attained."
-Quoting Viktor Frankl, "He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how."
"When we live beneath our humanity, we become inhumane. When we live genuinely human lives, we become translucent reflections of divinity."
"Our brokenness is not proof that God could not or would not love us, but proof that what we need is the God who both created and loves us. What our souls long to become is not something other than human, but to become beautifully human."
"It's a troubling thing when your soul demands what your brain rejects. I guess if you think about it, if it wasn't for God, we might find ourselves capable of drowning in despair and thinking it was our natural habitat. Instead, we will always be haunted by this soul craving, this seemingly irrational need for hope."
I couldn't have said it any better... hope you are filled with hope and longing today... :)
Here are some of my favorites from the book:
"The more we live disconnected lives, the more we become indifferent to the well-being of others."
"God's love for us is never passive, but always passionate; and passion always leads to action."
"When we are full of hope, it's not because everything in the future is certain to us, but because the future itself is filled with promise... hope comes only from something we do not yet have, something we have not yet attained."
-Quoting Viktor Frankl, "He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how."
"When we live beneath our humanity, we become inhumane. When we live genuinely human lives, we become translucent reflections of divinity."
"Our brokenness is not proof that God could not or would not love us, but proof that what we need is the God who both created and loves us. What our souls long to become is not something other than human, but to become beautifully human."
"It's a troubling thing when your soul demands what your brain rejects. I guess if you think about it, if it wasn't for God, we might find ourselves capable of drowning in despair and thinking it was our natural habitat. Instead, we will always be haunted by this soul craving, this seemingly irrational need for hope."
I couldn't have said it any better... hope you are filled with hope and longing today... :)
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Answers
1. Lately by Jodeci
2. Playground by Another Bad Creation
3. El Segundo by Tribe Called Quest
4. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi
5. Freshmen by Verve Pipe
6. Jane Says by Jane's Addiction
7. Desperado by The Eagles
8. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
9. Not Your Stepping Stone by The Monkees
10. Better Man by Pearl Jam
11. When I See You Smile by Bad English
12. Surrender by Trixter (this one I knew would be totally random for
most people)
13. Glory of Love by Peter Cetera (Karate Kid Theme Song)
14. To Be With You by Mr. Big
15. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn
Oh and the last line of the blog is from the song Cantaloop by US3.
2. Playground by Another Bad Creation
3. El Segundo by Tribe Called Quest
4. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi
5. Freshmen by Verve Pipe
6. Jane Says by Jane's Addiction
7. Desperado by The Eagles
8. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
9. Not Your Stepping Stone by The Monkees
10. Better Man by Pearl Jam
11. When I See You Smile by Bad English
12. Surrender by Trixter (this one I knew would be totally random for
most people)
13. Glory of Love by Peter Cetera (Karate Kid Theme Song)
14. To Be With You by Mr. Big
15. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn
Oh and the last line of the blog is from the song Cantaloop by US3.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Name that Tune/Memory Lane
So, Cody introduced me to "Songza" last week and I am HOOKED! At the moment I do not have an ipod. To be honest and far more lame, I have NEVER owned an ipod, or even an mp3 player of any sort. Strange cuz I'm a music nut. Anyway...
My latest addiction is finding songs lost to me long ago, most of which remind me of a specific place or person. It's SO FUN! I'm most struck by random lines in the song that I had forgotten I knew... and somehow still remember! So, if you're out there, see if you can guess the song based on the line provided...
1. "I'm a man of many wishes, hope my premonition misses..." (hint: "some of you may know this song, it's an oldie... but a goodie...")
2. "I gotta break cuz my mother said, 'Be home by de-zart.'"
3. "It was a nice little pub in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere wouldda been better, I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em. Ali had the fruit punch..."
4. "I'm so far away each step that I take's on my way home..."
5. "We try to wash our hands of all of this, we never talk of a lack in relationships..."
6. "...have you seen my wig around? I feel naked without it..."
7. "Don't ya draw the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able. But the queen of hearts is always your best bet..."
8. "I find it hard, it's hard to find, oh well- whatever- nevermind..." (doesn't everyone know this one?)
9. "You're reading all your high fashion magazines, the clothes you're wearin' girl are causin' public scenes..."
10. "she dreams in color, she dreams in red..." (okay, not the most random line in the song, but what can you do?)
11. "sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight..."
12. "You use words as weapons, I use love as a shield. So tell me, why're we on this battlefield?"
13. "Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret..."
14. "Build up your confidence, so you can be on top for once. Wake up, who cares about little boys who talk too much?
15. "Is it my turn to hold you by your hands? Tell you I love you and you'd hear me..."
So many songs, so little time! HA! HA! Hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane, there's just something fun about good music and good friends. :) If you're looking for a good song to remind you of me (you know you are) try "Amanda" by Waylon Jennings, Painted Orange, or Boston. tee! hee! I'm sure I inspired all 3... ;)
Just for good measure, I also have "Informer" by Snow on my list, but I had no idea how to write any lines from that song... :)
So, guess away and post any that you think you've figured out! We'll see if anyone can get them all! Oh and as you're guessing, just jump to the jam boogie woogie jam slam...
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Thought I'd Share...
Just got a parenting idea from a friend and thought I'd pass it along... if you can't find time for a "date" with each of your children as often as you'd like, make a date for "late night." Once a week, keep one of your children up 15-20 minutes later than the rest. Once everyone else is settled into bed, let that one child have uninterrupted mommy and daddy time. AND... let them choose how to spend it! This is something I KNOW we can do, and that excites me! And, since it excites me, I thought it might excite you too! :) Any other great ideas?!?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
More Connected?
So, after living here in the boondocks for 5 years, they have finally figured out a way to get us high speed internet! (and for only $10 more a month!) WOO! HOO! We've had dial-up all this time and it was getting old. We couldn't watch any video clips, download things with large picture files, listen to music, etc. without getting timed out and kicked off the internet. So... thanks to DSL we should do a better job of being "connected." Hopefully that means more photos on this blog and that I'll find an excuse to update it more frequently. :) Unfortunately, now facebook is giving me problems so I can't go through and look at all the stuff friends have posted that I've wanted to see! I did finally add pics to this blog, specifically the post about Ki's birthday. I think there are a few more that I need to work on as well. In the meantime, thanks for your patience and keep your eyes open for new posts and or additions to old ones! :)
Moments...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sorry it's been a while...
I'm having trouble posting lately because I'm not really sure I have all that much to say. :) Those that know me would find that to be a comical statement, considering how much I TALK! Still, it's one thing to be a motor mouth in the moment with one or two friends, and completey another to write those same thoughts down and put them out there for who knows who to read. Not to mention the fact that I'm a little too ADD to write anything coherent when there's distractions around me... and there are ALWAYS distractions. Right now the boys are in here... Ezra's playing around on the piano and Ki's running in circles taunting the dog. It has taken me 20 minutes to write this little bit. Some of my longest posts have taken less time, but if you notice, most of them are late at night when everyone else is sleeping!
So, I promise, the moment inspiration strikes again, or I have a few moments without the chaos, I will be back...
So, I promise, the moment inspiration strikes again, or I have a few moments without the chaos, I will be back...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Christmas Confusion...
So a few years back we were trying to explain to Ezra that Christmas is actually about Jesus' birthday and NOT about Santa Claus (still working on that by the way), and Ezra decided that we can't really celebrate Jesus' birthday unless we have a birthday cake. Solid reasoning right? So, since that time, it has been a family tradition to have birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve.
This year I was making the cake with Ki and he said, "Mom, that cake is for Jesus right?" I said it was, and he said, "and Jesus lives in my heart, right?" I said yes. Ki got this terrible look on his face and went quiet. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and said, "Mom, I don't want you to cut me open and feed Jesus his cake. That would really hurt!!!"
My children are HILARIOUS...
This year I was making the cake with Ki and he said, "Mom, that cake is for Jesus right?" I said it was, and he said, "and Jesus lives in my heart, right?" I said yes. Ki got this terrible look on his face and went quiet. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and said, "Mom, I don't want you to cut me open and feed Jesus his cake. That would really hurt!!!"
My children are HILARIOUS...
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Snow Days
I'm just wondering at what point in my life will the words, "Snow Day!" not thrill me? As a child, those were some of the most amazing words in the English language. The one time they cancelled school in college, my friends and I embarked on a "great adventure" (very fun!). As a fifth grade teacher my love for the words grew to a level I cannot even begin to express in words... For the past few years I babysat for friends who teach, so the "snow day call" meant I could sleep 'til my boys woke up and have a day alone with them. This year it just means Ezra's home and fun should be had by all. I LOVE SNOW DAYS! Today was #3 and we convinced daddy to take a long lunch, so sledding and hot cocoa were had by all (even Grandma Gascho joined the sledding fun since she didn't have to teach today)! And although it means we'll have school longer into the summer, I hope there's many more to come. :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Ezra's First Snow Day EVER!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Malaki is now THREE!
Well, my little one is THREE YEARS OLD TODAY! How is that possible?!? Ki is becoming such a little man. He is developing his own, very distinct, personality and I love that I am home to experience every minute of it!
It has been a hard 2 months for him since Ezra left for all day kindergarten, but he is beginning to come into his own, and I am learning so much more about him now that it's just the two of us. Strange how different he is when he's playing off Ezra's personality verses just spending time with me. His language skills are gaining with leaps and bounds these days, and he's starting to become quite the storyteller. He is determined to be a "wock stah" (rock star) when he grows up, and with his love of music, I wouldn't be surprised if he accomplishes that goal. :)
For his birthday he wanted a "Little Einsteins" party, so I made a very lame attempt at making him a "rocket" birthday cake. The frosting gave me A LOT of trouble, but other than that, I think it turned out fine. Ki loved it, and as soon as I get a chance, I'll add some pics to this post.
For now, you can check out the video Cody made to celebrate the past year of Ki's life: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuoHPyl8K3w
I thank God everyday for the blessing of having Ki in my life. The adoption process was a pain in the rear, but the result has been priceless. What a treasure I have in my little man!
It has been a hard 2 months for him since Ezra left for all day kindergarten, but he is beginning to come into his own, and I am learning so much more about him now that it's just the two of us. Strange how different he is when he's playing off Ezra's personality verses just spending time with me. His language skills are gaining with leaps and bounds these days, and he's starting to become quite the storyteller. He is determined to be a "wock stah" (rock star) when he grows up, and with his love of music, I wouldn't be surprised if he accomplishes that goal. :)
For his birthday he wanted a "Little Einsteins" party, so I made a very lame attempt at making him a "rocket" birthday cake. The frosting gave me A LOT of trouble, but other than that, I think it turned out fine. Ki loved it, and as soon as I get a chance, I'll add some pics to this post.
For now, you can check out the video Cody made to celebrate the past year of Ki's life: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuoHPyl8K3w
I thank God everyday for the blessing of having Ki in my life. The adoption process was a pain in the rear, but the result has been priceless. What a treasure I have in my little man!
Friday, September 05, 2008
Wild Goose Chase
So I've been reading a LOT lately. Not really sure why, but there's been this gnawing need to know more... like something waiting at the gates, dying to be let in, a hunger or thirst of some sort. I read Margaret Feinberg's "Organic God" and "The Sacred Echo." I read, "The Shack" (I could, and probably will write an entire blog about that one... LOVED IT!) and "Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus. But this morning I started, "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson. I'm only 2 chapters in and I am almost shaking with excitement, fear, and revelation. I hesistate to write any of this, because what if I don't feel this way tomorrow? But most of me knows that I have felt this way for years and today was the first time I even entertained the idea that it might be something that requires my action.
Since about 6 months into our move here to Fairview I started having this ache for all the abandoned housing in our town. Then I learned that our county has the highest percentages in Michigan for unemployment, poverty, and homelessness. How do you live in Northern Michigan without a home (especially in the winter)? Most of our homeless are classified as "hidden homeless" because they bounce from home to home, living with friends and family, or in cars, etc. Our schools can attest to the impacts that has, as so many children are in and out of schools as they bounce from one part of the county to another.
So the ache, combined with the knowledge, and I started wondering, "How do we connect all these homeless families with all these empty houses?" The truth is, any housing that might be affordable, is not very liveable. We have lots of cabins for sale around here, but few are insulated for winter use. Many old homes available, but they are in need of new windows and roofs, and floor coverings and fresh paint, etc. So a family who could barely afford the mortgage will inherit a home they cannot afford to make liveable for their family. What can be done?
Habitat for Humanity is up and active in our area, and they have done a great job of building a house or two a year. Still, on some level I think it's wasteful to build something brand new when there are so many homes sitting around, and so many families in need.
I desperately desire to buy up these houses, one by one, and renovate them... making them decent, clean, updated homes, that children can be raised in and parents can takes some pride in. Nothing fancy, but homes of good quality, updated in ways that will make them more energy efficient and built to last. I want owners to put down roots in our community- for their sakes, their kids' sakes, and for our community's sake. By fixing the run down properties, everyone's home values will increase, and that is good for the town as a whole. By giving people deeper roots in our community, local businesses and schools will benefit. I want to do this, and then sell the remodelled homes for the amount I paid for them originally, OR LESS.
... and there's the rub. We can't even afford to replace our own less than functional stove (or do a million other needed renovations), let alone buy and renovate homes (at a loss of income) for others. And yet... it would seem that God is telling me that He has given me this nagging passion for a reason. I have no idea what step to take next, but I know I'm going to have to take it. Will you pray with me?
Since about 6 months into our move here to Fairview I started having this ache for all the abandoned housing in our town. Then I learned that our county has the highest percentages in Michigan for unemployment, poverty, and homelessness. How do you live in Northern Michigan without a home (especially in the winter)? Most of our homeless are classified as "hidden homeless" because they bounce from home to home, living with friends and family, or in cars, etc. Our schools can attest to the impacts that has, as so many children are in and out of schools as they bounce from one part of the county to another.
So the ache, combined with the knowledge, and I started wondering, "How do we connect all these homeless families with all these empty houses?" The truth is, any housing that might be affordable, is not very liveable. We have lots of cabins for sale around here, but few are insulated for winter use. Many old homes available, but they are in need of new windows and roofs, and floor coverings and fresh paint, etc. So a family who could barely afford the mortgage will inherit a home they cannot afford to make liveable for their family. What can be done?
Habitat for Humanity is up and active in our area, and they have done a great job of building a house or two a year. Still, on some level I think it's wasteful to build something brand new when there are so many homes sitting around, and so many families in need.
I desperately desire to buy up these houses, one by one, and renovate them... making them decent, clean, updated homes, that children can be raised in and parents can takes some pride in. Nothing fancy, but homes of good quality, updated in ways that will make them more energy efficient and built to last. I want owners to put down roots in our community- for their sakes, their kids' sakes, and for our community's sake. By fixing the run down properties, everyone's home values will increase, and that is good for the town as a whole. By giving people deeper roots in our community, local businesses and schools will benefit. I want to do this, and then sell the remodelled homes for the amount I paid for them originally, OR LESS.
... and there's the rub. We can't even afford to replace our own less than functional stove (or do a million other needed renovations), let alone buy and renovate homes (at a loss of income) for others. And yet... it would seem that God is telling me that He has given me this nagging passion for a reason. I have no idea what step to take next, but I know I'm going to have to take it. Will you pray with me?
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Northwoods Playhouse
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Feeling Like a Michigan Winter
Ever feel like you are winter? Let me expound on that thought... We all look forward to spring... we want it to be here, we crave the end of the cabin fever... BUT...
Spring takes yuckiness in order to be successful. In order to have May flowers, we need April showers (or snow). In order to see grass again, we have to have the muddy mess that follows the snow's thaw. Before we see buds on all the trees, we see all the wet, heavy, brown oak leaves matted to the ground (since they waited until snowfall to finally drop, and could not be raked until now).
In my spirit, in my home, in my deepest desires I'm craving spring... newness, freshness, cleanliness, etc. But, the reality is, I don't want to wash all the windows, weed the flower beds, sort through the closests, gut the garage, wash window treatments, start walking, shovel up a winter's worth of dog doo in the yard (yuck!), buy shorts AGAIN, etc. I know that I want to be on the other side of all that, but I don't want to go through it. So... I deem myself a Michigan winter... just not ready to let go and embrace spring... :)
Soon, I promise!!! :)
Spring takes yuckiness in order to be successful. In order to have May flowers, we need April showers (or snow). In order to see grass again, we have to have the muddy mess that follows the snow's thaw. Before we see buds on all the trees, we see all the wet, heavy, brown oak leaves matted to the ground (since they waited until snowfall to finally drop, and could not be raked until now).
In my spirit, in my home, in my deepest desires I'm craving spring... newness, freshness, cleanliness, etc. But, the reality is, I don't want to wash all the windows, weed the flower beds, sort through the closests, gut the garage, wash window treatments, start walking, shovel up a winter's worth of dog doo in the yard (yuck!), buy shorts AGAIN, etc. I know that I want to be on the other side of all that, but I don't want to go through it. So... I deem myself a Michigan winter... just not ready to let go and embrace spring... :)
Soon, I promise!!! :)
Experience
My parents came to town this weekend and my mom and I had a conversation yesterday about money. I just re-read my "pity-party" post and it was almost comical in light of what was said...
We were discussing the various things in our homes that needed to be updated, and time frames for getting them done, etc. and I told her about a decision Cody and I made last June that has impacted our financial choices since. When it comes to money we spend on ourselves (not that there's a lot) we decided it was more important to spend our time and resources on experiences than on things. That our children would be better people for it, our family would be stronger for it, and God might be more glorified by it. Then I decide to do a kitchen and completely forgot about it... seriously...
What do you think about this plan? In looking back at my childhood, my mind doesn't immediately go to the suck tight, ankle zipper, stone-washed, pair of Guess jeans my mom and dad spent my entire Christmas wad on in 6th grade. I remember camping trips, Cedar Point, mission trips to Mexico, volunteering at the Gospel mission, making forts with dad, etc.
Experiences, not things. As a child I wanted "things" and my parents did their best to provide them for me... but that's not what made me who I am. The "things" are not my touchstone when I relive my past... So what if we're intentional about experiences... what then?
Who needs a new kitchen, right?!?
We were discussing the various things in our homes that needed to be updated, and time frames for getting them done, etc. and I told her about a decision Cody and I made last June that has impacted our financial choices since. When it comes to money we spend on ourselves (not that there's a lot) we decided it was more important to spend our time and resources on experiences than on things. That our children would be better people for it, our family would be stronger for it, and God might be more glorified by it. Then I decide to do a kitchen and completely forgot about it... seriously...
What do you think about this plan? In looking back at my childhood, my mind doesn't immediately go to the suck tight, ankle zipper, stone-washed, pair of Guess jeans my mom and dad spent my entire Christmas wad on in 6th grade. I remember camping trips, Cedar Point, mission trips to Mexico, volunteering at the Gospel mission, making forts with dad, etc.
Experiences, not things. As a child I wanted "things" and my parents did their best to provide them for me... but that's not what made me who I am. The "things" are not my touchstone when I relive my past... So what if we're intentional about experiences... what then?
Who needs a new kitchen, right?!?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
EZRA'S FIVE!!!
It seems utterly impossible, but my little boy is FIVE YEARS OLD! Seriously, how did that happen?!? When asked about his turning 5 the other day he responded, "yeah, and that's a mystery because my mom is much too young to have a 5 year old!" How can I not adore him?!? :)
My little man is a passionate, expressive, tender, ingenuitive, snuggly, brilliant, creative, goofy little guy who amazes us at every corner. I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom... I promise! Each day brings with it new amazement that God has chosen to bless us with his presence in our lives. When I think back to the 4 1/2 months on bedrest and all the fear of miscarriage, I shutter to think how different our lives would be if things had gone the other way. I thank God for shielding us from that pain, and I praise Him for the wonder that is Ezra!
I'll add b-day pics to this as soon as I have some...
My little man is a passionate, expressive, tender, ingenuitive, snuggly, brilliant, creative, goofy little guy who amazes us at every corner. I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom... I promise! Each day brings with it new amazement that God has chosen to bless us with his presence in our lives. When I think back to the 4 1/2 months on bedrest and all the fear of miscarriage, I shutter to think how different our lives would be if things had gone the other way. I thank God for shielding us from that pain, and I praise Him for the wonder that is Ezra!
I'll add b-day pics to this as soon as I have some...
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Poor Me!
Ever throw your own pity party? I like to think I'm not that kind of person, that I have more perspective than that, that I know how well off I am... the truth is, I'm not, I don't, and I rarely ever am.
It sucks to admit that, but it's true.
For instance, this December we had some extra money from various Christmas gifts, and I sarcastically said to Cody, "well, I'd love to spend this, but I know as soon as I do we'll have some crazy need arise and I'll kick myself for not saving it." I say that because it has happened the last 6 or 7 times we've had any extra cash. So, after sitting on it a month, I came up with some plans to fix up our kitchen (something I've wanted to do since we moved in 4 years ago). I added a little of my daycare cash to the mix and all of the sudden- dreams were born. Most of you know how much I love to renovate, so this was really exciting stuff! We were moving beyond painting a room, to things involving countertops and creating a pass through in the wall and adding an additional cabinet for storage and workspace. I spent many weekends trolling the aisles of Home Depot and Lowe's sniffing out good deals and ideal color schemes (not a small feat when you live an hour away from such places), not to mention countless hours surfing the net for coupons and other savings. Everything was in place, it was actually going to happen... and then...
The water went brown. We got it fixed, but it looks like we'll need a new well this summer...
We got our taxes done. A miscalculation for last year (not our fault) and now we owe around $500 by April.
Cody messed up his knee again, surgery may be looming...
Cody's car broke down.
Then the van broke down.
Seriously...
I'm so ready for a pity party, and I'm trying hard not to indulge my inner four year old. I know better. I know it's only money and that my kitchen is fine how it is. I know I need a cheaper hobby! :) I know that God is our ulitmate source for security, not an increasing bank account. I know I can't take any of it with me, and that I should be thankful for a healthy and whole family. I know there are so many in this world (even many of my friends) who are in much more difficult situations, monetarily, relationally, spiritually, etc. I know all this, and yet I sit here and pout... BUT I REALLY WANTED A NEW KITCHEN!!!
Pray for Cody's sanity... he's a saint when I'm a brat! tee! hee!
It sucks to admit that, but it's true.
For instance, this December we had some extra money from various Christmas gifts, and I sarcastically said to Cody, "well, I'd love to spend this, but I know as soon as I do we'll have some crazy need arise and I'll kick myself for not saving it." I say that because it has happened the last 6 or 7 times we've had any extra cash. So, after sitting on it a month, I came up with some plans to fix up our kitchen (something I've wanted to do since we moved in 4 years ago). I added a little of my daycare cash to the mix and all of the sudden- dreams were born. Most of you know how much I love to renovate, so this was really exciting stuff! We were moving beyond painting a room, to things involving countertops and creating a pass through in the wall and adding an additional cabinet for storage and workspace. I spent many weekends trolling the aisles of Home Depot and Lowe's sniffing out good deals and ideal color schemes (not a small feat when you live an hour away from such places), not to mention countless hours surfing the net for coupons and other savings. Everything was in place, it was actually going to happen... and then...
The water went brown. We got it fixed, but it looks like we'll need a new well this summer...
We got our taxes done. A miscalculation for last year (not our fault) and now we owe around $500 by April.
Cody messed up his knee again, surgery may be looming...
Cody's car broke down.
Then the van broke down.
Seriously...
I'm so ready for a pity party, and I'm trying hard not to indulge my inner four year old. I know better. I know it's only money and that my kitchen is fine how it is. I know I need a cheaper hobby! :) I know that God is our ulitmate source for security, not an increasing bank account. I know I can't take any of it with me, and that I should be thankful for a healthy and whole family. I know there are so many in this world (even many of my friends) who are in much more difficult situations, monetarily, relationally, spiritually, etc. I know all this, and yet I sit here and pout... BUT I REALLY WANTED A NEW KITCHEN!!!
Pray for Cody's sanity... he's a saint when I'm a brat! tee! hee!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
2008 is Here!
Hey friends, it's been a while, I know. Welcome 2008! Not much new is happening in our lives at the moment, but we are looking forward to whatever is lurking around the corner this new year.
We have officially started the process of licensure for foster care and/or adoption with the State of Michigan. We're not sure where this will take us, but the prospect of completing our family is intoxicating to me! I'm never good about uncertainty, so there is a large piece of me that wants closure on "who we are" as a family. To know, that from this point forward, we are a family of 5, or 6, or 7. Does that make sense? That once a certain child has outgrown a set of clothing, they can be given away instead of stored. To be able to sell the high chairs and bouncy seats and baby swings, etc. To plan a family vacation and not be concerned about how many to plan for, or whether or not someone will have just joined us and need to be acclimating to our home. More than that, I have this sinking feeling that lives in the pit of my stomach, wondering if my future children are out there somewhere, and if so, what are they dealing with right now? I pray daily that God will guard their hearts and their minds while they live in potentially harmful situations... this only heightens my desire to "bring them home." So, we pray and we wait...
I am reading "Velvet Elvis" right now by Rob Bell. I know, I'm kind of behind the eight ball on that one, but if you are too, I STRONGLY recommend checking it out. It is doing a great job of inspiring me to dig deeper in my thought processes. It's not fiction, so its not usually my style, but it is good and I keep reading.
May your New Year be blessed, and may God stretch you in ways that are surprising and appreciated! Expect Miracles!!!
We have officially started the process of licensure for foster care and/or adoption with the State of Michigan. We're not sure where this will take us, but the prospect of completing our family is intoxicating to me! I'm never good about uncertainty, so there is a large piece of me that wants closure on "who we are" as a family. To know, that from this point forward, we are a family of 5, or 6, or 7. Does that make sense? That once a certain child has outgrown a set of clothing, they can be given away instead of stored. To be able to sell the high chairs and bouncy seats and baby swings, etc. To plan a family vacation and not be concerned about how many to plan for, or whether or not someone will have just joined us and need to be acclimating to our home. More than that, I have this sinking feeling that lives in the pit of my stomach, wondering if my future children are out there somewhere, and if so, what are they dealing with right now? I pray daily that God will guard their hearts and their minds while they live in potentially harmful situations... this only heightens my desire to "bring them home." So, we pray and we wait...
I am reading "Velvet Elvis" right now by Rob Bell. I know, I'm kind of behind the eight ball on that one, but if you are too, I STRONGLY recommend checking it out. It is doing a great job of inspiring me to dig deeper in my thought processes. It's not fiction, so its not usually my style, but it is good and I keep reading.
May your New Year be blessed, and may God stretch you in ways that are surprising and appreciated! Expect Miracles!!!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Happy Halloween...a little late!
I thought some of you might enjoy seeing the boys dressed up for
Halloween! If you haven't seen the movie, "Monsters Inc." then they
won't make any sense to you! Ezra's "Sully" and Ki is "Mike
Wazowski." They had a LOT of fun!
In His grip,
Amanda
--
"expect miracles!"
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Simplicity
Ever find yourself in a moment, when out of nowhere simplicity strikes? I admit that these moments are becoming fewer and farther between as I age, but on some level that makes them all the more sweet. At Ezra's preschool they have the kids sing the "Johnny Appleseed Prayer" before they eat their snacks. Well, we've been hearing a lot of it at home, and recently, amidst the chaos that is my children playing, that song was stuck in my head. Just at the moment I thought I had lost patience with all the little boy rough-housing around me, I was hit with simplicity... "Oh, the Lord's been good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need- like the sun and the rain and the appleseed. The Lord's been good to me..." What do I have to complain about?!? God is good, and if I believe that, I trust that, and if I trust that, why stress?
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Malaki is TWO!
Well, today is Ki's 2nd birthday!!! It does not seem possible that he is already 2 years old. My dad took these pictures of the boys when we were in Portage the first week of October. They were not very cooperative, but we got in a few good shots. I have been wanting to post more frequently, but it just hasn't happened lately. One of these days we'll invest in faster internet and maybe then I'll keep up a little better. Life here is good. Not fantastic, not terrible, but good. We're lacking a little drama for the moment, and I am trying to embrace that and enjoy the normalcy. I know times like this are precious, but there is always that side of me that enjoys a bit of drama now and then... :) tee! hee! Since there is so little drama, there is also very litte to write about.
Hunting season has begun, although so far Cody has not been out bow hunting. He has, however, been out getting things ready for gun season. We're seeing deer daily on our property, so we are hoping that's a good sign for hunting.
The boys are Cody's little shadows lately... desperately trying to be just like daddy. They play baseball, basketball, football, or golf almost daily- and want to start the minute dad comes through the door (you may want to take a moment and pray for Cody's sanity!!!).
Ezra started pre-school this fall and is loving it! It is only two afternoons a week, so it's been good for Ki and I as well. Ki usually naps for most of the time Ezra is gone, so he's not feeling to lost without his "best buddy." I'm usually not a huge fan of pre-school (I just don't think there's any need to start school sooner than you have to), but this is an amount that I like. He gets just enough to give him a taste of "school" before kindergarten next year, and not too much that he misses out on being at home this last year.
Ki is as sweet as ever. He is quickly making himself known for clowning around, and he seems to find humor in just about everything. He is obsessed with trains and animals, and has little or no trouble keeping up with his big brother most of the time. He is quickly learning to exert his "maleness" and is climbing, jumping, breaking, throwing, etc. seemingly 24 hours a day! :) He continues to bless our lives in ways we never imagine and we thank God daily for the path that lead us to his adoption!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sleepy Ramblings
My Sunday nap is taking it's toll...
Well, much to my dismay I find myself regretting the fabulous nap I had this afternoon. It's rare that I get to enjoy a nap on a Sunday afternoon, but everything aligned itself perfectly today, and it was accomplished with relative ease. The boys both slept for almost 3 hours this afternoon, our regular small group was cancelled in honor of Father's Day, and the teens weren't scheduled to be at our home until 7pm. So, even after cleaning up lunch and all that that entails, there was still time for a snuggle on the couch with my hubby and a lengthy nap. Sounds great right?!? Well, it's now 1:20 am and I am still raring to go. The fam is all sleeping soundly and I cannot shake this nervous energy I've got going for me now. I'm sure I'll regret this when the alarm goes off at 7am, but for now I thought I'd channel my energy into something more productive. I'm not sure blogging was what I originally had in mind, but here goes.
On a completely unrelated note... if you haven't checked out my friend Josh's progress on their church blog, you should... it's really inspirational, and it will keep you from groaning about your own life so much... I know it kicks my butt on a daily basis. Plus, it might inspire you to pray for them, and that would be so appreciated! http://www.greenhouseministries.org/
Not much new here. The adoption waffling continues- we continue to pray about our next move, and are considering working with the state and doing foster care for a while. Major shift, I know, but it's a long story and I'll get around to explaining one of these days. Basically we're doing our best to trust and be open to whatever options are presented until God makes it clear one way or another. Not giving up on the Africa idea, just considering a different route while we wait.
I mentioned that I read "Gone With the Wind" a month or so ago, and this past week I read the follow up novel, "Scarlett." My friend Tari mentioned that I should, and I'm so thankful I did. I found it at a secondhand shop for 50 cents and couldn't resist. Everything I loved about the first book stayed consistent in the second, and everything that left me wanting in the first was resolved in the second. If I were a true literary snob, I would probably hate the second because of all the resolution, knowing that the ending in "Gone With the Wind" is part of what makes it so famous and so compelling. I know that until I read "Scarlett" I could not shake the original and it was driving me mad. I could be driving down the road listening to the radio and a song would strike me in a completely new way, and I'd find myself wondering if the artist had been inspired by Scarlett and Rhett. I know, I'm a complete dork! I can appreciate the quality of such a novel, because I love the various "what ifs" in life, and I dwell in possibilities, but this one was gnawing at me. So much of what went wrong in the novel was simple misunderstandings or timing issues. The truth of their love was never fully recognized and that was driving me insane. The way Rhett knew Scarlett better than she knew herself, and the scene where she finally realizes that Rhett is the haven she's been looking for all along... augh... it just killed me to have all that insight end in nothing. "Scarlett" went there and dealt with what was left undone, and although it was a long and miserable process, I enjoyed the character development and plotline of the second so much more. Maybe its just because I'm Irish and most of the second book is set in Ireland. :) tee! hee! In all actuality I think I'm just a hopeless romantic and I enjoyed my "happily ever after." Cody says it's because I identify with Scarlett at the core of who I am, and I wanted her to find what she needed and wanted in life. (I'm not sure if being like Scarlett is good or bad, but I think there may be some truth in that) Hey, if you've ever read both novels, humor my inner dork and listen to U2's "With or Without You" and Celine Dion's "All Coming Back to Me" with those novels in mind. It's kind of creepy how well they fit. And yes... I actually own a Celine Dion CD... but, I plead the fifth because it randomly came on the radio when I connected it to my latest reading adventures. (I know... I didn't change the station... I already admitted I'm a hopeless romantic, what more do you want?!?)
I'd better get to bed and attempt sleep one more time. Thanks for humoring me and my randomness. Here's hoping your life's timing is full of unexpected twists and happy endings... more importantly that you find yourself in the center of God's will- knowing His timing is perfection, and our stories are never fully recognized if we are not in touch with the Author.
Much love... sweet dreams... e-mail me sometime...
Well, much to my dismay I find myself regretting the fabulous nap I had this afternoon. It's rare that I get to enjoy a nap on a Sunday afternoon, but everything aligned itself perfectly today, and it was accomplished with relative ease. The boys both slept for almost 3 hours this afternoon, our regular small group was cancelled in honor of Father's Day, and the teens weren't scheduled to be at our home until 7pm. So, even after cleaning up lunch and all that that entails, there was still time for a snuggle on the couch with my hubby and a lengthy nap. Sounds great right?!? Well, it's now 1:20 am and I am still raring to go. The fam is all sleeping soundly and I cannot shake this nervous energy I've got going for me now. I'm sure I'll regret this when the alarm goes off at 7am, but for now I thought I'd channel my energy into something more productive. I'm not sure blogging was what I originally had in mind, but here goes.
On a completely unrelated note... if you haven't checked out my friend Josh's progress on their church blog, you should... it's really inspirational, and it will keep you from groaning about your own life so much... I know it kicks my butt on a daily basis. Plus, it might inspire you to pray for them, and that would be so appreciated! http://www.greenhouseministries.org/
Not much new here. The adoption waffling continues- we continue to pray about our next move, and are considering working with the state and doing foster care for a while. Major shift, I know, but it's a long story and I'll get around to explaining one of these days. Basically we're doing our best to trust and be open to whatever options are presented until God makes it clear one way or another. Not giving up on the Africa idea, just considering a different route while we wait.
I mentioned that I read "Gone With the Wind" a month or so ago, and this past week I read the follow up novel, "Scarlett." My friend Tari mentioned that I should, and I'm so thankful I did. I found it at a secondhand shop for 50 cents and couldn't resist. Everything I loved about the first book stayed consistent in the second, and everything that left me wanting in the first was resolved in the second. If I were a true literary snob, I would probably hate the second because of all the resolution, knowing that the ending in "Gone With the Wind" is part of what makes it so famous and so compelling. I know that until I read "Scarlett" I could not shake the original and it was driving me mad. I could be driving down the road listening to the radio and a song would strike me in a completely new way, and I'd find myself wondering if the artist had been inspired by Scarlett and Rhett. I know, I'm a complete dork! I can appreciate the quality of such a novel, because I love the various "what ifs" in life, and I dwell in possibilities, but this one was gnawing at me. So much of what went wrong in the novel was simple misunderstandings or timing issues. The truth of their love was never fully recognized and that was driving me insane. The way Rhett knew Scarlett better than she knew herself, and the scene where she finally realizes that Rhett is the haven she's been looking for all along... augh... it just killed me to have all that insight end in nothing. "Scarlett" went there and dealt with what was left undone, and although it was a long and miserable process, I enjoyed the character development and plotline of the second so much more. Maybe its just because I'm Irish and most of the second book is set in Ireland. :) tee! hee! In all actuality I think I'm just a hopeless romantic and I enjoyed my "happily ever after." Cody says it's because I identify with Scarlett at the core of who I am, and I wanted her to find what she needed and wanted in life. (I'm not sure if being like Scarlett is good or bad, but I think there may be some truth in that) Hey, if you've ever read both novels, humor my inner dork and listen to U2's "With or Without You" and Celine Dion's "All Coming Back to Me" with those novels in mind. It's kind of creepy how well they fit. And yes... I actually own a Celine Dion CD... but, I plead the fifth because it randomly came on the radio when I connected it to my latest reading adventures. (I know... I didn't change the station... I already admitted I'm a hopeless romantic, what more do you want?!?)
I'd better get to bed and attempt sleep one more time. Thanks for humoring me and my randomness. Here's hoping your life's timing is full of unexpected twists and happy endings... more importantly that you find yourself in the center of God's will- knowing His timing is perfection, and our stories are never fully recognized if we are not in touch with the Author.
Much love... sweet dreams... e-mail me sometime...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
In the Past
Okay, so these photos are a little old, but they are so cute I could not resist sharing them with whoever is out there reading this. Taken last October, they are a fairly accurate representation of the boys personalities... Ezra hamming it up with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, Ki plopped comfortably and smiling contently with an overwhelming gentleness about him. I am truly blessed! (just FYI, earlier today I added pictures to a bunch of the previous posts to spice things up a bit... it's nice having access to fast internet once in a while)Anywho... what's new in our lives?... well, no new news on the adoption front. We're still praying that God will provide a way for us to grow our family without tremendous expense, and we are still believing that we are supposed to be pursuing a sibling group from somewhere in Africa. Those two things seem mutually exclusive, but we know God is bigger than our limited understanding of the possibilities, so we are trusting that He has something planned. We're going to attempt to sell our pop-up camper this Memorial Day weekend to help with the funding, but it probably isn't worth enough to make much of a dent. Our piano may be next...
Ezra and Malaki are becoming fast friends and I am finding myself with more and more free time throughout the day. They do keep me busy, but thankfully they also entertain each other much better than I could, and they truly seem to enjoy each other's company. I look at Cody and his brother, Dustin, and I know I would be happy if Ezra and Ki find even half the friendship that daddy and his brother have. (as an added bonus a few weeks ago I read "Gone with the Wind" from front to back, it's been a while since I've had time for a novel of such epic proportions... now I need to see the movie--- that's right, I've never seen the movie--- pick your jaws up off the floor and keep reading!)
Lately I am struggling with my desire to see great things happening in our community, craving more intimate and diverse friendships, paired with my knowledge that I just really don't want to work at any of it. I don't know if it's apathy, laziness, or just an overwhelming contentment with the way things are right now, but I am at a loss. I miss so many of the friendships that I developed in my college years and its been hard to find that same level of intimacy and committment in the people around me. Not that its not available (it may not be, but I'm not really sure one way or the other), but maybe I'm just not as invested as I once was. I often long for those old friends to start e-mailing or drop in sometime, but time has taken it's toll on those relationships too. There are a few, and for those, I am eternally greatful (you know who you are- tee! hee!) but so many others that for one reason or another were lost along the way. I'm oozing sappy nostagia at the moment aren't I? sorry...
Anyway, I'm not really sure what my point is, just that I'm a bit restless and at the same time, a bit too at ease. Does that make any sense?
I've been focusing on 5 action steps for my life lately, some are easier than others... spend time with God and in the Word daily, volunteer for something or someone at least once a month, reach out and build relationships that draw others to the Lord, do the next "right thing" (whatever it is that you know God is leading you to do, little or big), and... yeah, I can't remember the 5th... oops! It's based on something I read on a church's website, and they got it from a book. I just liked having more clarity and direction in attempting to motivate myself to act in new ways with my faith.
Oh yeah, the 5th... the one that started the trip down memory lane... "find a friend you can invest yourself in with all that you are, someone who you know will do the same in return." That's the kicker one for me. I tend to have a lot of one sided friendships, all about me, or all about them, very rarely are they mutually beneficial. I am prayerful that God has people in my path who will fit that bill, I just have to step out in faith a little more. I already have some of those, and for you I am appreciative. :)
Okay, I just re-read the above and I fear I am rambling out of control. I'll stop now, but if you are one of those friends whose been around for the long haul... thank you! You continue to bless me, even in memory.
much love... Amanda, Lucy, Manders, Man, Fred C. Foley, Beautiful, Betty, Scrub, Zulu Warrior Princess, Springhead, or whatever other nickname we may have had for me over the years (TNT, I'm not listing the one you call me, but I didn't forget it... :) tee! hee!)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
EZRA-ISMS
EZRA-ISMS...
So, I thought you all might enjoy hearing the amazing words of wisdom that pour from my son's mouth seemingly everyday. Here are a few of my most recent favorites:
1/23- Ezra asked me to marry him so I could sleep in his bed with him at night. I told him I was already married to his daddy and he said, "Hmm... mommy? Do you know who my wife will be?" I told him I didn't, and that I probably wouldn't until he introduced her to me. He replied, "Oh, that's easy, her name's Trinney." :) We don't know any Trinneys, so if he brings one home with him some day I may just have a heart attack!
2/13- We were sitting around the dinner table when Ezra said, "Dad, you are too big. Ki, you are too small. Mom, you are too medium... but I am JUST RIGHT!" I think we've read Goldilocks one too many times. :)
2/16- Cody was gone for the weekend on a winter retreat and I was tucking Ezra into bed when this one occurred. I told him that since daddy was gone for the weekend he was now the man of the house. He replied, "No I'm not, look!" and he thrust his arm up in my face. When I asked him what I was supposed to be looking at he said, "There's no fur on my arm yet, I'm still a boy." :)
3/28- This one is very "Easter Appropriate." We were working our way through one of his educational sticker books the other day and he was matching letter stickers to the letter shapes on the page. For each letter I would ask him if he knew what letter he was working on. He knew them all until the letter "t." I said, "What letter is that?" Ezra replied, "That's the letter 'cross.'" I said, "Well, it looks like a cross, but it's actually the letter 't.'" To which Ezra innocently replied, "Jesus died on a 't?'" :)
Happy Easter!
So, I thought you all might enjoy hearing the amazing words of wisdom that pour from my son's mouth seemingly everyday. Here are a few of my most recent favorites:
1/23- Ezra asked me to marry him so I could sleep in his bed with him at night. I told him I was already married to his daddy and he said, "Hmm... mommy? Do you know who my wife will be?" I told him I didn't, and that I probably wouldn't until he introduced her to me. He replied, "Oh, that's easy, her name's Trinney." :) We don't know any Trinneys, so if he brings one home with him some day I may just have a heart attack!
2/13- We were sitting around the dinner table when Ezra said, "Dad, you are too big. Ki, you are too small. Mom, you are too medium... but I am JUST RIGHT!" I think we've read Goldilocks one too many times. :)
2/16- Cody was gone for the weekend on a winter retreat and I was tucking Ezra into bed when this one occurred. I told him that since daddy was gone for the weekend he was now the man of the house. He replied, "No I'm not, look!" and he thrust his arm up in my face. When I asked him what I was supposed to be looking at he said, "There's no fur on my arm yet, I'm still a boy." :)
3/28- This one is very "Easter Appropriate." We were working our way through one of his educational sticker books the other day and he was matching letter stickers to the letter shapes on the page. For each letter I would ask him if he knew what letter he was working on. He knew them all until the letter "t." I said, "What letter is that?" Ezra replied, "That's the letter 'cross.'" I said, "Well, it looks like a cross, but it's actually the letter 't.'" To which Ezra innocently replied, "Jesus died on a 't?'" :)
Happy Easter!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Ezra is FOUR!
EZRA'S BIRTHDAY!
Hello friends! Today my eldest little man turns 4 YEARS OLD! Yikes! One more birthday and he's off to kindergarten. Although there are times when that seems like it can't get here soon enough, most often I am struck by how quickly he's changing. This morning I was going through his baby book, looking for things that needed to be added or updated, and I was a little bewildered to realize that the only item left in his book is recording his height and weight for this b-day and the next. How did he grow that quickly!?!?!
On the upside, I am thankful to have a little man who still desires to snuggle his parents, says he loves me without prompting, and believes that Jesus lives in his heart and protects him when he's scared. These are things I have always wanted for him, and I am glad to know these prayers are being answered. He is turning into a wonderful person, and although he has his moments, most of the time I feel as though I am bursting at the seams with pride. Ezra is smart, articulate, creative, energetic, passionate, and trusting... I could go on and on... but above all else, he is starting to have an understanding of God and why He's so important to even a little one's life.
Today I celebrate Ezra!
Hello friends! Today my eldest little man turns 4 YEARS OLD! Yikes! One more birthday and he's off to kindergarten. Although there are times when that seems like it can't get here soon enough, most often I am struck by how quickly he's changing. This morning I was going through his baby book, looking for things that needed to be added or updated, and I was a little bewildered to realize that the only item left in his book is recording his height and weight for this b-day and the next. How did he grow that quickly!?!?!
On the upside, I am thankful to have a little man who still desires to snuggle his parents, says he loves me without prompting, and believes that Jesus lives in his heart and protects him when he's scared. These are things I have always wanted for him, and I am glad to know these prayers are being answered. He is turning into a wonderful person, and although he has his moments, most of the time I feel as though I am bursting at the seams with pride. Ezra is smart, articulate, creative, energetic, passionate, and trusting... I could go on and on... but above all else, he is starting to have an understanding of God and why He's so important to even a little one's life.
Today I celebrate Ezra!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
PRAY FOR JOSH
PRAYER NEEDED:
Hey all, I'm posting today to request prayer for my good friend Josh Buck. Some of you may remember Josh from my dating days in college (he was from IWU), some of you were asked to pray a year and a half ago when Josh's 3 month old daughter, Ava, died in a freak accident, and some of you have no clue who he is... however, after 3 months of dating long distance and 9 years of friendship, I count him one of my most cherished friends.
Josh was seriously injured in a diving accident last Thursday while vacationing in Mexico with his wife Shelly. He shattered his C5 vertebrae and is currently paralyzed from the chest down and recovering at a hospital in Miami, FL. We are spreading the word to all we know, and asking that people pray for complete healing. Doctors are giving his legs a 5% chance of recovery, but we know our God is bigger than their stats. If you would, please send a prayer or two, or twenty, Josh and Shelly's way today and everytime you think of it until he is home. Pray also for their children back home, Noah (4) and Zoe (3) and for their little boy still growing in Shelly's tummy (Ephram). For more information, or to follow his progress, check out his church's website... www.greenhouseministries.org
Hey all, I'm posting today to request prayer for my good friend Josh Buck. Some of you may remember Josh from my dating days in college (he was from IWU), some of you were asked to pray a year and a half ago when Josh's 3 month old daughter, Ava, died in a freak accident, and some of you have no clue who he is... however, after 3 months of dating long distance and 9 years of friendship, I count him one of my most cherished friends.
Josh was seriously injured in a diving accident last Thursday while vacationing in Mexico with his wife Shelly. He shattered his C5 vertebrae and is currently paralyzed from the chest down and recovering at a hospital in Miami, FL. We are spreading the word to all we know, and asking that people pray for complete healing. Doctors are giving his legs a 5% chance of recovery, but we know our God is bigger than their stats. If you would, please send a prayer or two, or twenty, Josh and Shelly's way today and everytime you think of it until he is home. Pray also for their children back home, Noah (4) and Zoe (3) and for their little boy still growing in Shelly's tummy (Ephram). For more information, or to follow his progress, check out his church's website... www.greenhouseministries.org
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
More Questions...
Still working on the adventure...
Okay, thanks to all of you who have inquired about how last week's meeting went. I would have e-mailed you back, but posting it all here at once seemed so much simpler. To make a long story short (or, shorter... you know I can never tell a "short" story!!!), this process is going to be much more difficult than we originally imagined. We left our meeting feeling quite discouraged, and that is probably why it took me so long to start explaining things to people. The biggest shock is that the process of adopting children already in the foster care system... who are legally free for adoption... waiting for a family... requires more paperwork, more evaluations, and significantly more time than adopting an infant. The last fact was where we felt thrown for a loop. Whether we were naive going in or not, it seems so sad to us that there are children out there waiting for parents, and it takes so much work to get to them. I can't imagine how many parents have probably thought about taking this route and chose another way of adopting simply because it was easier and faster. When we started our infant adoption process they told us to expect an expansion in our family within the next 9 months. We were told this process will most likely take a minimum of 2 years. In the mean time, children wait, and that is disheartening.
We did decide we will not be going through Traverse City Bethany for this adoption. There are a number of reasons, most of which involve state regulations and various "suggested practices," which would leave us waiting longer than most families they work with. It all has to do with proximity, so we are looking for a more local agency and there really aren't any. So, we are praying for clarity.
At this point, we still feel we are supposed to be pursuing adoption now. Maybe its because God knew it would take forever and wanted to get us going on it. Maybe its because He wanted to force us to consider other options. Maybe He just wants to teach us something about trust... once again! :) Augh! Who knows. For now, we are putting out a lot of feelers and doing our best to keep listening for God's voice in our midst. If anyone has any ideas... we'd love to hear them.
On a side note: sort of... Cody and I have been really drawn to Africa lately. Financially, emotionally, and even with our free time (watching a million and one documentaries on the history and discovery channels). We ran across an adoption agency that specializes in placing Ethiopian and Liberian children who are currently in African orphanages with American families. It looks as though we could adopt 2 children from Liberia for about $10,000 (very cheap for an international adoption and less than it was for Ki). This is far more than we have right now, and more than we could have anytime soon (one of the perks of adopting from foster care is that it's free), but we have not completely ruled it out, knowing God will provide if it is His will. So, we pray...
I was hit the other day while reading my Bible with the verse that says, "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." I often feel as though I do trust Him with all my heart... but I know I still lean on my own understanding. My initial reaction to all of this was to try to make sense of it all, in my mind and through discussion with Cody. Such an obvious indicator of the fact that I am no where near "there yet." :) Here's hoping you're farther along than I am!... and that I'll get there one of these days!
Thank you in advance for any prayers you may send our way. We really appreciate all your love and support! :) Hope all is well in the new year with you!
Okay, thanks to all of you who have inquired about how last week's meeting went. I would have e-mailed you back, but posting it all here at once seemed so much simpler. To make a long story short (or, shorter... you know I can never tell a "short" story!!!), this process is going to be much more difficult than we originally imagined. We left our meeting feeling quite discouraged, and that is probably why it took me so long to start explaining things to people. The biggest shock is that the process of adopting children already in the foster care system... who are legally free for adoption... waiting for a family... requires more paperwork, more evaluations, and significantly more time than adopting an infant. The last fact was where we felt thrown for a loop. Whether we were naive going in or not, it seems so sad to us that there are children out there waiting for parents, and it takes so much work to get to them. I can't imagine how many parents have probably thought about taking this route and chose another way of adopting simply because it was easier and faster. When we started our infant adoption process they told us to expect an expansion in our family within the next 9 months. We were told this process will most likely take a minimum of 2 years. In the mean time, children wait, and that is disheartening.
We did decide we will not be going through Traverse City Bethany for this adoption. There are a number of reasons, most of which involve state regulations and various "suggested practices," which would leave us waiting longer than most families they work with. It all has to do with proximity, so we are looking for a more local agency and there really aren't any. So, we are praying for clarity.
At this point, we still feel we are supposed to be pursuing adoption now. Maybe its because God knew it would take forever and wanted to get us going on it. Maybe its because He wanted to force us to consider other options. Maybe He just wants to teach us something about trust... once again! :) Augh! Who knows. For now, we are putting out a lot of feelers and doing our best to keep listening for God's voice in our midst. If anyone has any ideas... we'd love to hear them.
On a side note: sort of... Cody and I have been really drawn to Africa lately. Financially, emotionally, and even with our free time (watching a million and one documentaries on the history and discovery channels). We ran across an adoption agency that specializes in placing Ethiopian and Liberian children who are currently in African orphanages with American families. It looks as though we could adopt 2 children from Liberia for about $10,000 (very cheap for an international adoption and less than it was for Ki). This is far more than we have right now, and more than we could have anytime soon (one of the perks of adopting from foster care is that it's free), but we have not completely ruled it out, knowing God will provide if it is His will. So, we pray...
I was hit the other day while reading my Bible with the verse that says, "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." I often feel as though I do trust Him with all my heart... but I know I still lean on my own understanding. My initial reaction to all of this was to try to make sense of it all, in my mind and through discussion with Cody. Such an obvious indicator of the fact that I am no where near "there yet." :) Here's hoping you're farther along than I am!... and that I'll get there one of these days!
Thank you in advance for any prayers you may send our way. We really appreciate all your love and support! :) Hope all is well in the new year with you!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Adventures
Embarking on a new adventure... maybe...
One week from today we will have our first meeting with an adoption counselor to start discussing the idea of adding more children to our family. :) We are trying to be prayerful about this whole process, and right now we are feeling led to at least gather more information. Most of you know, we would like to eventually have 4 kids (I'd like 5) but we are trying to be wise about it all. We know we do not have much money, we know our home will be a tight fit once our children are older, we also know that we do not feel as though our family is complete, and that this phase of life looks best on paper for continuing this process. We have always planned to start this process again once Ezra and Ki were school age. Our hope was that we might be able to adopt a sibling group under the age of 5. That time frame would allow me to really invest in Ezra and Ki for the time being, as well as invest in our new little ones with a little more intensity while their big brothers are in school all day. We are not looking to adopt another infant unless God makes it clear we should. There are so many waiting children in this country and once they get past 6 months old, their options for loving families drop drastically. Everyone wants a baby... and we are nothing if not opposite of most. :) So why now?!?...
Well, Cody's job is very flexible at this time. He has stockpiled 51 days for personal leave time and can use that for "paternity" leave when we add children to our family. His job as an associate pastor is best accomplished in his office, but he can get a fair amount done from home if he needs to. His current employer is very generous about time off, and just trusts that Cody will get everything done and done well. All of this is a luxury we may not have elsewhere... not that we are planning on heading "elsewhere," but you just never know in ministry. So we see this little window of opportunity for integrating new little ones into our family with daddy around more often than not to help aid the process. Plus, there is some concern that waiting longer will mean a more difficult adjustment for Ezra and Ki, and the change that will cause within our family structure. More than anything though... we are just anxious to know our future children. We are craving our future family... if we were doing this biologically, we'd be trying to get pregnant right now! That's where the prayer comes in, because we don't want to be impulsive about this just because we're impatient, we want to know we are in God's will.
Anyway, we would still like to pursue older children if possible, and that's what this info meeting should clarify for us. Usually there is a strongly encouraged policy to maintain a birth order within families... that each child entering the house should be the youngest in the home. We are hoping to work around that a bit if possible. We definitely want to go younger than Ezra (our little "boss of everything" probably wouldn't handle being bumped by a big brother all that well!), but we are not picky about how kids fall around Ki. We figure he'll have to adjust no matter what we do and he's a little too young to really care. Plus, he's ridiculously mellow about most things in life, so he'd probably go with the flow anyway. He'll either have more older siblings, or he'll no longer be the baby. Either way he shifts, so we're hoping that may make the process more flexible. We are also hoping for a sibling group that's non-caucasion. These are some of the hardest children to place, and that is where our hearts are. So, maybe 2 between Ezra and Ki, maybe one between and one below Ki, who knows. It may not even be possible. That's what we're hoping to find out next Tuesday. So, if you think of it, keep us in your prayers. We know God's got it all worked out, we're just anxious to see His plan revealed. :)
So, let the adventure begin!
One week from today we will have our first meeting with an adoption counselor to start discussing the idea of adding more children to our family. :) We are trying to be prayerful about this whole process, and right now we are feeling led to at least gather more information. Most of you know, we would like to eventually have 4 kids (I'd like 5) but we are trying to be wise about it all. We know we do not have much money, we know our home will be a tight fit once our children are older, we also know that we do not feel as though our family is complete, and that this phase of life looks best on paper for continuing this process. We have always planned to start this process again once Ezra and Ki were school age. Our hope was that we might be able to adopt a sibling group under the age of 5. That time frame would allow me to really invest in Ezra and Ki for the time being, as well as invest in our new little ones with a little more intensity while their big brothers are in school all day. We are not looking to adopt another infant unless God makes it clear we should. There are so many waiting children in this country and once they get past 6 months old, their options for loving families drop drastically. Everyone wants a baby... and we are nothing if not opposite of most. :) So why now?!?...
Well, Cody's job is very flexible at this time. He has stockpiled 51 days for personal leave time and can use that for "paternity" leave when we add children to our family. His job as an associate pastor is best accomplished in his office, but he can get a fair amount done from home if he needs to. His current employer is very generous about time off, and just trusts that Cody will get everything done and done well. All of this is a luxury we may not have elsewhere... not that we are planning on heading "elsewhere," but you just never know in ministry. So we see this little window of opportunity for integrating new little ones into our family with daddy around more often than not to help aid the process. Plus, there is some concern that waiting longer will mean a more difficult adjustment for Ezra and Ki, and the change that will cause within our family structure. More than anything though... we are just anxious to know our future children. We are craving our future family... if we were doing this biologically, we'd be trying to get pregnant right now! That's where the prayer comes in, because we don't want to be impulsive about this just because we're impatient, we want to know we are in God's will.
Anyway, we would still like to pursue older children if possible, and that's what this info meeting should clarify for us. Usually there is a strongly encouraged policy to maintain a birth order within families... that each child entering the house should be the youngest in the home. We are hoping to work around that a bit if possible. We definitely want to go younger than Ezra (our little "boss of everything" probably wouldn't handle being bumped by a big brother all that well!), but we are not picky about how kids fall around Ki. We figure he'll have to adjust no matter what we do and he's a little too young to really care. Plus, he's ridiculously mellow about most things in life, so he'd probably go with the flow anyway. He'll either have more older siblings, or he'll no longer be the baby. Either way he shifts, so we're hoping that may make the process more flexible. We are also hoping for a sibling group that's non-caucasion. These are some of the hardest children to place, and that is where our hearts are. So, maybe 2 between Ezra and Ki, maybe one between and one below Ki, who knows. It may not even be possible. That's what we're hoping to find out next Tuesday. So, if you think of it, keep us in your prayers. We know God's got it all worked out, we're just anxious to see His plan revealed. :)
So, let the adventure begin!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Ode to Code
ODE TO CODE
Today I celebrate my hubby! Cody is now officially 28 years old! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY! It's crazy how time flies... we've been "dating" for over 9 years now, and married for 7 (as of next Monday). Seems like we've always been together, I can hardly remember the times before he was in my life, some I'd rather forget! :) Still, it's crazy to remember the day we met, and think of how I told my roommates that night that I thought I was going to marry him... we didn't even talk to each other... talk about love at first sight (maybe it was more of an obsession)! I just remember feeling something completely new and exciting when I was with him, and wanting to hang on to that feeling for as long as humanly possible. Amazingly enough, that sensation has only increased with time. My husband is funny, caring, servant-hearted, loyal, committed, strong, creative, and a man after God's own heart. I love and respect him more than anyone I have ever met, so today I celebrate Cody!
Today I celebrate my hubby! Cody is now officially 28 years old! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY! It's crazy how time flies... we've been "dating" for over 9 years now, and married for 7 (as of next Monday). Seems like we've always been together, I can hardly remember the times before he was in my life, some I'd rather forget! :) Still, it's crazy to remember the day we met, and think of how I told my roommates that night that I thought I was going to marry him... we didn't even talk to each other... talk about love at first sight (maybe it was more of an obsession)! I just remember feeling something completely new and exciting when I was with him, and wanting to hang on to that feeling for as long as humanly possible. Amazingly enough, that sensation has only increased with time. My husband is funny, caring, servant-hearted, loyal, committed, strong, creative, and a man after God's own heart. I love and respect him more than anyone I have ever met, so today I celebrate Cody!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
LOVIN' Christmas!
I LOVE CHRISTMAS! More to the point, I LOVE CHRISTMAS WITH CHILDREN!
Very few people understand my completely unhealthy obsession with Christmas better than Ezra. (Ha Ha, "better than Ezra"... someone should name a band that!) Ezra is enchanted by everything this season has to offer. The story of Christ's birth, the snow, the lights, the tree, the music, the food, wrapping and giving presents, etc. I could not be more pleased to have my little "partner in crime." Poor Cody looks like a true grinch by comparison. :) Ki is a little young to read just yet, although he is thoroughly mesmerized by the Christmas tree at grandma Gascho's house and dances anytime we play the Christmas CD's (granted he dances to music of any kind). Ezra even seems to grasp my overwhelming need to squish the life out of anyone who crosses my path. My poor children are being hugged incessantly simply because I am overflowing with joy this time of year. Ezra has begun preemptively hugging me whenever I am within arms reach. How fun! We will hopefully be decorating the house this weekend and with that it will feel as though the holidays have truly begun. I pulled out all of the Christmas stories for the kids and after 5 or 6 hours of reading them over and over it seems the boys know them by heart. In fact, this morning I caught Ezra "reading" one of them to Ki. Too precious!
Hope you are experiencing the giddiness the holidays afford and are not allowing the pressures of the season to put a damper on your celebration. Afterall, this is a celebration of the only person capable of loving us with perfection, and saving us from ourselves. No stress, only pure child-like JOY!
Very few people understand my completely unhealthy obsession with Christmas better than Ezra. (Ha Ha, "better than Ezra"... someone should name a band that!) Ezra is enchanted by everything this season has to offer. The story of Christ's birth, the snow, the lights, the tree, the music, the food, wrapping and giving presents, etc. I could not be more pleased to have my little "partner in crime." Poor Cody looks like a true grinch by comparison. :) Ki is a little young to read just yet, although he is thoroughly mesmerized by the Christmas tree at grandma Gascho's house and dances anytime we play the Christmas CD's (granted he dances to music of any kind). Ezra even seems to grasp my overwhelming need to squish the life out of anyone who crosses my path. My poor children are being hugged incessantly simply because I am overflowing with joy this time of year. Ezra has begun preemptively hugging me whenever I am within arms reach. How fun! We will hopefully be decorating the house this weekend and with that it will feel as though the holidays have truly begun. I pulled out all of the Christmas stories for the kids and after 5 or 6 hours of reading them over and over it seems the boys know them by heart. In fact, this morning I caught Ezra "reading" one of them to Ki. Too precious!
Hope you are experiencing the giddiness the holidays afford and are not allowing the pressures of the season to put a damper on your celebration. Afterall, this is a celebration of the only person capable of loving us with perfection, and saving us from ourselves. No stress, only pure child-like JOY!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
MALAKI'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!
Ki is now one year old!
It seems like only yesterday we recieved the phone call saying that Michelle was in labor. That morning was such an intense blur of emotion, so much hope in what our family was about to become, so much fear for what it might not. In the end, so much trust in our God to see us through whatever was on it's way. Ki was so beautiful, our time with him in the hospital- so treasured, the entrustment ceremony- so intense. The whole thing was exhausting and exhilarating all at once. I cannot begin to explain the degree to which I wish such an experience for everyone I love. Adoption is a precious journey and has helped me understand the degree to which our heavenly Father loves us... the Bible speaks of how God adopts each of us, making us joint heirs with Christ. Having a biological child, and now an adopted child, I more fully understand the level of equality with Christ that we have been afforded in God's eyes. It is so completely humbling and terrifyingly undeserved. So many people speak of adoption and say things like, "how lucky your little one is to have parents like you..." No one says those things when you give birth to a baby. It's so frustrating. Just like it was with Ezra, we are the lucky ones to have been blessed with Ki. He has enriched us in ways we didn't even know we were lacking. Today I celebrate Ki.
It seems like only yesterday we recieved the phone call saying that Michelle was in labor. That morning was such an intense blur of emotion, so much hope in what our family was about to become, so much fear for what it might not. In the end, so much trust in our God to see us through whatever was on it's way. Ki was so beautiful, our time with him in the hospital- so treasured, the entrustment ceremony- so intense. The whole thing was exhausting and exhilarating all at once. I cannot begin to explain the degree to which I wish such an experience for everyone I love. Adoption is a precious journey and has helped me understand the degree to which our heavenly Father loves us... the Bible speaks of how God adopts each of us, making us joint heirs with Christ. Having a biological child, and now an adopted child, I more fully understand the level of equality with Christ that we have been afforded in God's eyes. It is so completely humbling and terrifyingly undeserved. So many people speak of adoption and say things like, "how lucky your little one is to have parents like you..." No one says those things when you give birth to a baby. It's so frustrating. Just like it was with Ezra, we are the lucky ones to have been blessed with Ki. He has enriched us in ways we didn't even know we were lacking. Today I celebrate Ki.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
My Two Sons
Thought I'd add some pics of my children if I can figure out how to do it. I'm an such a computer moron. :) Enjoy!
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